The first-ever recipient of the prestigious Pulitzer Prize for news reporting was a man by the name of Herbert Bayard Swope (1882-1958). Swope, who reportedly coined the term "The Cold War," famously said, "I can't give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time."
Anyone with even a casual knowledge of sports knows that attempting to meet the expectations of others is a dead-end. Yet the sports world is full of those harboring such a need. And nowhere can the consequences of this be more troubling or harmful than among high school and college athletes.
The anxiety caused by such concerns is not only bound to suppress the performance level of even the most gifted athlete, it can sometimes be crippling.
This proved to be the case for one highly-acclaimed Division 1 basketball coach whose school has sent players to the NBA. "Two of our key starters have been virtually sidelined this season due to fears of disappointing their parents. One is the son of parents highly accomplished in the medical field. Another was our conference's leading 3-point shooter last year. These kids feel like they are under the microscope and are simply unable to perform."
Such players come to college with strong pedigrees, like having been honored as their state's Mr. Basketball. They arrive on campus with a portfolio of press clippings, and the need to live up to all the hype. As if that weren't enough, the transition from high school to college ball brings additional challenges.
The more rigorous level of college play presents one challenge, Then there is the fact that while such players shined in their high school programs, the stronger the program they are joining, the more likely that nearly every other player on the squad was a big-time star in his own high school program as well.
Add to this the higher level of academic demands, the need to adapt to a whole new culture of campus life, and the challenge that comes with being away from home for the very first time, and the pressure can increase exponentially.
The fears such an athlete might harbor of not living up to the expectations of his parents can often stem from imagining grandiose expectations that far outstrip the reality of the situation.
But the coach went on to explain how he has observed a change in the situation over time. "20 years ago I would say that when a player struggled the parents felt let down or disappointed because they felt for their son and his own pain at not reaching his potential. Today parents are more likely to be let down not because of their child's dreams but because of their own. They are not feeling someone else's let-down but theirs. They see their son as positioning for a big pay-day in the NBA, or the glory of being in the spotlight. We have had parents who were hell-bent on their son getting to the NBA. If their son didn't score enough points in a game the would tell him, 'How are you going to impress the scouts with a game like tonight?' The athlete becomes consumed by his personal stats."
Few players receive support to help them cope with these pressures. If anything they mistakenly think that once they have a better performance the problems will go away.
Anyone with even a casual knowledge of sports knows that attempting to meet the expectations of others is a dead-end. Yet the sports world is full of those harboring such a need. And nowhere can the consequences of this be more troubling or harmful than among high school and college athletes.
The anxiety caused by such concerns is not only bound to suppress the performance level of even the most gifted athlete, it can sometimes be crippling.
This proved to be the case for one highly-acclaimed Division 1 basketball coach whose school has sent players to the NBA. "Two of our key starters have been virtually sidelined this season due to fears of disappointing their parents. One is the son of parents highly accomplished in the medical field. Another was our conference's leading 3-point shooter last year. These kids feel like they are under the microscope and are simply unable to perform."
Such players come to college with strong pedigrees, like having been honored as their state's Mr. Basketball. They arrive on campus with a portfolio of press clippings, and the need to live up to all the hype. As if that weren't enough, the transition from high school to college ball brings additional challenges.
The more rigorous level of college play presents one challenge, Then there is the fact that while such players shined in their high school programs, the stronger the program they are joining, the more likely that nearly every other player on the squad was a big-time star in his own high school program as well. Add to this the higher level of academic demands, the need to adapt to a whole new culture of campus life, and the challenge that comes with being away from home for the very first time, and the pressure can increase exponentially.
The fears such an athlete might harbor of not living up to the expectations of his parents can often stem from imagining grandiose expectations that far outstrip the reality of the situation.
But the coach went on to explain how he has observed a change in the situation over time. "20 years ago I would say that when a player struggled the parents felt let down or disappointed because they felt for their son and his own pain at not reaching his potential. Today parents are more likely to be let down not because of their child's dreams but because of their own. They are not feeling someone else's let-down but theirs. They see their son as positioning for a big pay-day in the NBA, or the glory of being in the spotlight. We have had parents who were hell-bent on their son getting to the NBA. If their son didn't score enough points in a game the would tell him, 'How are you going to impress the scouts with a game like tonight?' The athlete becomes consumed by his personal stats."
Few players receive support to help them cope with these pressures. If anything they mistakenly think that once they have a better performance the problems will go away.
As one coach put it, "It's like riding the Cyclone at Coney Island (Amusement Park). You go up high - and you can see all of Brooklyn and all the way to the Verrazzano Bridge. But as high as you go you always go down again - so it's never enough. And at the highest levels you see teams circulate players. They are let go at one school and go on to another, but they bring their baggage with them."
In the end, many players are likely to become collateral damage in top-level programs. There are only a handful of coaches who are committed to working with their players and getting them proper help to work through these difficulties.
As one quote has it, "If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have lost sight of your value." To which one coach added, "We define winning in a very different way."
To read more about pressure in sports and effective ways to deal with it, contact MitchSmithMentalCoach@gmail.com
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