Frustration. It's frustrating. But it doesn't have to be!! So says veteran Spanish coach and educator Manolo Povea.
Should we give in to feelings of frustration**? This might seem like a stupid question. After all, how can we not? However I don't see this question as so black-and-white. Allow me to elaborate.
Even for those of us who live in privileged circumstances relative to so many others around the world, stress is a constant in our lives.
College students about to graduate stress about finding a job. To parents at least, teenagers live in a state of nearly permanent stress about this or that. Younger children, well their parents are constantly taking care of one thing or another to shield their youngsters from stress.
The term is probably becoming trivialized for overused.
An ancient proverb states that "to understand a skill, it must be repeated 1,000 times; to truly know it, 10,000 times; and to master, 100,000 times." Persistence is the mother of success.
Some young basketball players practice a skill or a move movement, then try to use it in the game - and when it does not work out ... they feel frustrated. Students who put in the time to study for an exam expecting a good grade and end up with results not matching those expectations ... feel frustrated.
Let's keep in mind that frustration is a term that only comes following such other terms as "effort," "tenacity," "perseverance," or "dedication."
There can be no frustration without first persevering in the attempt to achieve the goal we are after. Our "frustratability" is just the opposite of the quality cited by Danish-American social reformer Jacob Riis, who studied the lives of poor people living in the slums of New York City 100 years ago - in a favorite quote of Coach Gregg Popovich which he called "Pounding the Rock":
"When nothing seems to help, I think of a stonecutter hammering away at the rock over and over again, maybe 100 times, without as much as a single crack appearing. However with the 101st blow, the rock splits in half. It was not that last blow that caused the rock to split, but the 100 previous attempts."
Returning to the initial question: Should we allow ourselves to give in to feelings or frustration? Maybe yes, but only if we have previously done everything to achieve the goal. And do you know the most curious thing? It is those who try everything who are the least frustrated. Surely it is because they believe that if things don't work out as desired, you have to keep trying!
** Frustration = a feeling that is generated in an individual when he can not satisfy a stated desire. Faced with this type of situation, the person usually reacts emotionally with expressions of anger, anxiety or dysphoria.
Many years ago, a leading psychologist named Albert Ellis, whose lengthy career focused on how people reacted to the things in life they defined as problems, proposed that schools could help kids enormously by exposing them to mildly distressing situations so that the kids would develop the skills and strengths to successfully cope with these situations and thereby master their abilities to see such problems as not debilitating or otherwise disturbing, but as road bumps in life that they felt confident they could cope with and overcome with proper effort.
Should we give in to feelings of frustration**? This might seem like a stupid question. After all, how can we not? However I don't see this question as so black-and-white. Allow me to elaborate.
Even for those of us who live in privileged circumstances relative to so many others around the world, stress is a constant in our lives.
College students about to graduate stress about finding a job. To parents at least, teenagers live in a state of nearly permanent stress about this or that. Younger children, well their parents are constantly taking care of one thing or another to shield their youngsters from stress.
The term is probably becoming trivialized for overused.
An ancient proverb states that "to understand a skill, it must be repeated 1,000 times; to truly know it, 10,000 times; and to master, 100,000 times." Persistence is the mother of success.
Some young basketball players practice a skill or a move movement, then try to use it in the game - and when it does not work out ... they feel frustrated. Students who put in the time to study for an exam expecting a good grade and end up with results not matching those expectations ... feel frustrated.
Let's keep in mind that frustration is a term that only comes following such other terms as "effort," "tenacity," "perseverance," or "dedication."
There can be no frustration without first persevering in the attempt to achieve the goal we are after. Our "frustratability" is just the opposite of the quality cited by Danish-American social reformer Jacob Riis, who studied the lives of poor people living in the slums of New York City 100 years ago - in a favorite quote of Coach Gregg Popovich which he called "Pounding the Rock":
"When nothing seems to help, I think of a stonecutter hammering away at the rock over and over again, maybe 100 times, without as much as a single crack appearing. However with the 101st blow, the rock splits in half. It was not that last blow that caused the rock to split, but the 100 previous attempts."
Returning to the initial question: Should we allow ourselves to give in to feelings or frustration? Maybe yes, but only if we have previously done everything to achieve the goal. And do you know the most curious thing? It is those who try everything who are the least frustrated. Surely it is because they believe that if things don't work out as desired, you have to keep trying!
** Frustration = a feeling that is generated in an individual when he can not satisfy a stated desire. Faced with this type of situation, the person usually reacts emotionally with expressions of anger, anxiety or dysphoria.
P.S. In a previous post I wrote the following:
