OH, THE LOWLY FREE THROW

Alan is a 7-footer who, like a lot of the bigs I work with, finds himself not getting many touches of the ball. 

It has affected his game in a number of ways. 

For one thing, it has brought his confidence down, and then on occasion when he would get a pass he would drop the ball. 

He even felt his confidence leaving him when it came to shooting free throws, even though in a game I saw him play he shot 4 for 4 from the line and his form looked pretty solid to me. Then he had people, his teammates among them, telling him why he needed to be dunking the ball so he felt pressure to do that. 

A couple of days after we spoke, I was watching a ball game on ESPN, and heard the guy calling the game say how everyone wants to dunk and gives little importance to free throws, but games are often won or lost at the free throw line. 

I reminded Alan how solid his free throw shooting was and told him to not make the mistake of losing his perspective because everyone is putting such emphasis on dunking the ball. I told him he would have his share of dunks but it would be a shame if he lost sight of the larger picture. 

 Alan emailed me to say, “You are right about the free throws. I feel like my confidence has been restored. I can’t wait to get back to practice after the Christmas break!” 

It is easy to let go of our confidence, and every mistake we make presents an opportunity for other voices to get into our head. When we step back and find a way to find our own voice – and vision – we are able to silence the other voices and restore our confidence.

LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!

The morning news had a story of a political TV talk show which featured two political commentators, one liberal and one conservative, who happened to be brothers. 

At one point during the very heated conversation the host took a phone call from a listener … who just happened to be the men’s mother! She berated them for being so argumentative (and even said she was glad that this was the year both sons went to the in-laws for Thanksgiving … how is THAT for harsh!!! Where’s the love??) While reporting this story, one news anchor recalled a time when J.R. Rider (always known for his in-your-face style) got involved in an on-court brawl when his mother came barreling out of the stands to set him straight!! 

Although there are always times when we should heed our parents’ criticism, the fact is that the real value is in how our parents support us and encourage us. I had occasion to think of this during a recent conversation with Gary, a college senior who has been struggling in recent weeks, and reporting that the game he has loved all his life has not been so much fun lately. 

Gary is eyeing the time in the near future when he will be a professional player drawing a salary. His parents make a modest living and it means a great deal to Gary to be able to help his family out and to make a difference. But that has been weighing heavily on Gary’s mind. “I have been thinking a lot about where I would be playing and if I would make enough to take care of my family. Even though they always been very supportive I just feel the responsibility to help them out, and I am afraid that I won’t be able to do enough, which makes me insecure.” Gary was feeling both the promise and the pressure of what the future represented, but I reminded him that these worries could only get in the way on the court, which indeed was what was happening. So I told Gary that I was certain that if his parents were in the stands and they knew he was harboring these worries they would want to call a “Time Out” to tell him to get his head back in the game. 

As he readily agreed (and thought that would be kind of funny) I told him that every time he started having that worry he should picture his mother making the “T” Time Out sign. I reminded Gary that if he could keep his concern about helping his parents to the proper time and place (off court) and limit the times he gave it consideration (not every day!!) that he would find a proper way to cope with a very legitimate concern … BUT the image of his mother’s consternation would help him keep his heart in the game and restore his love of the sport. (P.S. I also reminded Gary how thrilled his parents would be at his getting his degree and preparing himself for life after basketball and a profession that would be another way to help provide for his family!)

A couple of weeks later, Gary and I spoke again, and he told me that when he thought of his parents he was mainly feeling good about making them proud of his efforts in the present rather than stressed about how he could help them in the future.

Update:  Gary did in fact go on to play in Europe, where after a challenging first year he subsequently signed with a Euroleague team where he is one of his team's leading scorers.

GROWING BEYOND YOUR COMFORT ZONE

A FEW YEARS AGO I WAS INVITED TO SPEAK TO PLAYERS at a Big Man Camp for NBA hopefuls. 

During the sessions, as I observed the ball-handling and low-post drills that were being run, I noticed a number of guys who, rather than really try to work on some of the weaker parts of their game, seemed to just be "going through the motions". In scrimmage games, these players fell back on the moves they already had, rather than take advantage of the opportunity to try to master the new moves. 

I concluded that these guys either didn't want to be bothered, or they decided they would rather "look good" (since we all look a bit awkward at first when trying out new skills) than "play good" (by developing a stronger game). Apparently, they preferred to stay in their comfort zone. We all have our comfort zone – learned behaviors that are our customary ways of handling all sorts of situations. 

Human nature being what it is, we all develop routine ways of responding to various events on the playing field or in life. These responses (like sticking to the skills we have mastered rather than giving new skills a shot) serve an important need: they help us to fend off anxiety by keeping things predictable. Staying within our comfort zone reduces our sense of stress that comes with the fear of not measuring up to the moment in trying something new, or our fear of “looking bad.” But doing so also stops us from growing and developing as players. 

Take for example, the case of Michael Chang. As one of America’s top-rated tennis players, Chang was considered a gutsy player who would run down every ball, playing to his strength as a baseline player. But at one point in mid-career, he took stock of things, and decided that in order to stay among the top-ranked players in the world, he would have to develop a net game, and he committed himself to doing so, even though it took him outside of his comfort zone. He devoted many months to this task, and understood that during this interim period – while he was looking to develop this weaker part of his game - he was likely to lose a larger number of matches than he would have liked (which cost him in terms of ranking points and tournament money). But he stuck it out, and eventually emerged a more skilled player. The resulting improvement enabled him to retain his ranking among the game’s best for several more years. 

Sometimes it's not a technical aspect of your game that needs adjusting, but a mental aspect. During his playing days as a quarterback with the Indianapolis Colts, current 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh was going through a rough patch. He attributed his on-field difficulties to the fact that he put great pressure on himself to live up to other people’s expectations. Seeing how this hampered his game-day performance, he concluded that he needed to stop demanding of himself to have perfect performances in every game and to risk just letting himself enjoy the game more - regardless of the outcome. When he was able to trust himself enough to do this, his play improved and he led the Colts through several successful seasons. To be sure, the beliefs that many athletes hold onto become powerful impediments to their venturing outside of their comfort zone. Some athletes tie their on-field performance to their sense of self-worth, and stay within their comfort zone in order to get "ego-strokes" for what they already know how to do, rather than focus on the weaker aspects of their game in order to make them better. 

They would rather go over and over the things they already do well than give up (at least for the moment) their pride, the need to look good to teammates, coaches, etc. The question is: where will that get them….. or you? When Steve Kerr graduated from the University of Arizona, few people believed he could make it in the NBA. The sharpshooting guard who played 15 seasons in the league, winning 5 championship rings and setting an NBA record for all-time 3-point field goal percentage (45.4%) once commented, "The thing that helped me find success in the NBA wasn't so much my ability as an outside shooter, but the fact that I was constantly working on the weak parts of my game.” Along the same lines, one-time Kerr teammate Michael Jordan similarly noted that each summer, he isolated a part of his game that needed improvement, and focused on strengthening that aspect. If Jordan, of all people, was willing to make that effort, is there a single athlete in the world who can afford to take a pass? Aside from acquiring the skills you need to be competitive at the highest levels in your own sport, forming the habit of accepting new challenges and the willingness to grow beyond your comfort zone, makes you not only a stronger athlete, but – as life brings new challenges along the way – a stronger human being.