DON'T PLAY HALF-WAY

Previously I discussed the situation of an athlete who struggled with indecisiveness ("How decisive are you?").

Recently the Rick Mahorn Big Man Camp (www.bigman.camp) began offering online coaching. Coach George Galiotos and I worked with Joe, a 7-foot high school post player, as we viewed a video clip of a past game which he had sent us. In one possession George pointed out where in one defensive play, Joe overhelped a teammate which resulted in weakening the overall defense of his team. George explained, "You have to either go all the way to trap or stay with your player. By not committing either way you allowed the player you were defending  get an easy pass."

Then I asked Joe if this represented something he often experienced: a sense of indecision or hesitation in games - and he said that this was an issue for him.

I told him that most likely the source was one of two factors - or possibly a combination of both - a) a lack of experience or b) fear of making a mistake.

Joe quickly said it was the latter, and added, "I think too much about the crowd. Because I am the tallest guy out there everybody expects a great performance out of me. I've been trying to overcome this."

Like any of us, Joe is to be commended for his attempts to correct a fault or shortcoming.  In these circumstances, a sport psychologist can sometimes be useful in providing strategies or techniques to harness that intent and make it a bit more focused. 

I gave Joe a way to look at it which is designed to give him such a handle.  I pointed out that while the crowd was a source of anxiety for him in those moments, playing in front of a crowd is also part of the thrill.  The trick for Joe is to be aware of the difference between the two and notice when he is crossing the line from crowd=thrill to crowd=anxiety.

I reminded Joe that when he plays pick-up games and makes a mistake it doesn't matter, he is just having fun. When he would be in a game and realize that he catches himself worrying about what the crowd might think about him to focus instead on what it is about playing that makes it fun (just like in the pick-up games).

As a rule a you cannot experience anxiety and have fun at the same moment.  This is known in psychology as reciprocal inhibition, meaning that two different responses to a situation are mutually incompatible. As we all know from weight training, two opposing muscles (e.g., biceps and triceps) can't contract at the same time. This means that players that are having fun are experiencing little thought about things like what other people might expect from them.  

For Joe, this would mean that next time he finds himself with two different options at a given moment, he can quickly and fully commit to one, and know that if it plays out well that will be to his credit, and if it proves to be a mistaken choice, then he can let it go and play on.  

MORE ON SPORTS ANXIETY: SOME GOOD NEWS ABOUT PRE-GAME JITTERS

It isn't just younger athletes who experience a dreaded attack of nerves just before a big competition.

An international coach shared with me recently, "In my experience I have found that older athletes encounter the same emotions as younger athletes.
"This season we had a 25-year-old on the team would frequently vomit before games, or even excuse himself during a game to vomit. He is a very competitive athlete who even in practice plays with maximum intensity. He didn't like to lose even a single shooting competition. In one game he went up against another player who had bested him the previous season.  He was very nervous. vomiting at half-time, and remained quite upset for several days afterward. I talked to him and confirmed my trust in him, telling him he shouldn't feel bad because this could happen to any player.
In the rematch later this season he played quite well and we won."

As Josh Peter noted in USA Today:

"Bill Russell, the Hall-of-Fame center for the Boston Celtics, was known for throwing up before many of the team's biggest games. In fact, legendary coach Red Auerbach apparently considered it a form of good luck.

…Before one of the Celtics' playoff games, Auerbach hadn't heard Russell throw up, so the coach supposedly ordered the team off the court during warm-ups and wouldn't let them back until Russell threw up.  Russell delivered, so to speak, and the Celtics returned to the floor and won the game.

Celtics teammate and fellow Hall-of-Famer John Havlicek once said of Russell's throwing up, 'It's a welcome sound, because it means he's keyed up for the game and around the locker room we grin and say, 'Man, we're going to be all right tonight.' " (Olympic Skier) "Mikaela Shiffrin is in good company when it comes to throwing up during competition," February 15, 2018

I once worked with an elite runner who was competing at the World University Games. She, too, talked about bouts of nerves she would experience before competitions. I suggested she take a different view of this by noting that it was a reminder that all her hard work and dedication had brought her to the highest levels of competition in her sport - and that she probably wouldn't be so nervous if it were a race of lesser consequence. I also suggested that once the gun went off and she left the blocks the race would take over and she would probably forget about her nerves.

Soccer great Lionel Messi, another athlete known for vomiting before or during matches, has commented, "It's no big deal."  It isn't nerves - or even the resultant vomiting - that is the problem.  It is what the athlete tells him or herself about the nerves that can potentially present an obstacle. When an athlete is able to accept that the nerves, even if unpleasant, are a recurring experience but that is all (and not any indication of a poor performance to be anticipated), he or she will proceed to put their talents to good work.  And so it was with the 25-year-old basketball player, the elite runner or the great Bill Russell. 

THE CRIPPLING EFFECT OF PRESSURE IN SPORTS

The first-ever recipient of the prestigious Pulitzer Prize for news reporting was a man by the name of Herbert Bayard Swope (1882-1958). Swope, who reportedly coined the term "The Cold War," famously said, "I can't give you a sure-fire formula for success, but I can give you a formula for failure: try to please everybody all the time."

Anyone with even a casual knowledge of sports knows that attempting to meet the expectations of others is a dead-end. Yet the sports world is full of those harboring such a need. And nowhere can the consequences of this be more troubling or harmful than among high school and college athletes.

The anxiety caused by such concerns is not only bound to suppress the performance level of even the most gifted athlete, it can sometimes be crippling.  

This proved to be the case for one highly-acclaimed Division 1 basketball coach whose school has sent players to the NBA. "Two of our key starters have been virtually sidelined this season due to fears of disappointing their parents.  One is the son of parents highly accomplished in the medical field. Another was our conference's leading 3-point shooter last year. These kids feel like they are under the microscope and are simply unable to perform."

Such players come to college with strong pedigrees, like having been honored as their state's Mr. Basketball.  They arrive on campus with a portfolio of press clippings, and the need to live up to all the hype. As if that weren't enough, the transition from high school to college ball brings additional challenges. 

The more rigorous level of college play presents one challenge, Then there is the fact that while such players shined in their high school programs, the stronger the program they are joining, the more likely that nearly every other player on the squad was a big-time star in his own high school program as well. 

Add to this the higher level of academic demands, the need to adapt to a whole new culture of campus life, and the challenge that comes with being away from home for the very first time, and the pressure can increase exponentially.

The fears such an athlete might harbor of not living up to the expectations of his parents can often stem from imagining grandiose expectations that far outstrip the reality of the situation. 

But the coach went on to explain how he has observed a change in the situation over time. "20 years ago I would say that when a player struggled the parents felt let down or disappointed because they felt for their son and his own pain at not reaching his potential.  Today parents are more likely to be let down not because of their child's dreams but because of their own. They are not feeling someone else's let-down but theirs. They see their son as positioning for a big pay-day in the NBA, or the glory of being in the spotlight. We have had parents who were hell-bent on their son getting to the NBA. If their son didn't score enough points in a game the would tell him, 'How are you going to impress the scouts with a game like tonight?' The athlete becomes consumed by his personal stats."

Few players receive support to help them cope with these pressures. If anything they mistakenly think that once they have a better performance the problems will go away. 

As one coach put it, "It's like riding the Cyclone at Coney Island (Amusement Park). You go up high - and you can see all of Brooklyn and all the way to the Verrazzano Bridge. But as high as you go you always go down again - so it's never enough.  And at the highest levels you see teams circulate players. They are let go at one school and go on to another, but they bring their baggage with them."

In the end, many players are likely to become collateral damage in top-level programs.  There are only a handful of coaches who are committed to working with their players and getting them proper help to work through these difficulties.

As one quote has it, "If you find yourself constantly trying to prove your worth to someone, you have lost sight of your value." To which one coach added, "We define winning in a very different way."

To read more about pressure in sports and effective ways to deal with it, contact  MitchSmithMentalCoach@gmail.com

KEEPING PERSPECTIVE IN SPORT AND IN LIFE

Few of us live our lives free of adversity, challenges and disappointments. Likewise, few athletes compete without adversity, challenges and disappointments.  Two thousand years ago, a philosopher and sports enthusiast named Philo who lived in Alexandria Egypt, wrote the following words: "It rarely happens that God allows a man to run life's race from start to finish without stumbling or falling, or to escape fouls by rushing past them with a sudden and violent burst of speed."

A hallmark of champions is their ability to face those challenges and disappointments in such a way that they are able to rebound from them and resume a spirit marked by energetic enthusiasm and a competitive attitude.

The following parable offers an insight into that wisdom:

   
   IN THE COURT OF KING SOLOMON there served a loyal officer named Joseph, who took upon himself any task that was required to minister to his master.  Often he could be heard bragging to others, "There is no assignment the king could ask of me that I would be unable to fulfill."

   When word of this reached the king, he thought to put the braggart Joseph to the test.  He decided to ask Joseph to fetch him an item that did not actually exist!

   Summoning Joseph to the royal chambers, King Solomon said to him: "There is a ring that I have had my heart set on owning for some time.  It is a special ring that can make a sad person happy, and yet make a happy person sad. I want you to find this ring and bring it back to me within the next six months."

   Joseph accepted his assignment eagerly.  He set out first to the camel traders, certain that in their journeys across the deserts one of them would surely have come across such a ring.  But alas, none of them had knowledge of such a treasure. So he turned to the seafarers, hoping in their voyages to far off lands, one of them might have knowlege of this fantastic treasure.  But none of them were of any help to him either. 

   SO JOSEPH DECIDED that he would have to go off in search of this special ring himself.  He traveled from country to country, from bazaar to bazaar, but nowhere was he able to find the ring he had been asked to locate.  Nevertheless, the knowledge that his king depended on him to fulfill this mission kept him devoted to the task.

   Week followed week and month followed month, and after Joseph's searches brought him no closer to success, he arrived at yet another country, yet another bazaar, and yet another jeweler's stall.  He was greeted by a young lad, and asked him, as he had so many times before, if he knew perhaps of a ring such as the one he had been assigned to bring back. Hoping against hope that the boy might offer encouraging words, the youngster knew of no such ring. Deeply discouraged by the news and with the six months coming to a rapid close, Joseph turned to leave the shop when the boy's grandfather, who had overheard the conversation, emerged from the back and said, "I know the ring you seek that has the power to make a sad man happy, and to make a happy man sad. Wait here and I shall produce it for you."

   AS JOSEPH WAITED with great anticipation, the old man went into the back room of his shop, took a simple gold band, and inscribed something on the inside of the ring. This he then brought it out to Joseph. 

   Joseph looked at the ring he now held, smiled, and said, "Yes this is certainly the ring I have been looking for!"

   Upon his return to Jerusalem, Joseph proceeded to the palace. When King Solomon asked Joseph to report on the success of his mission, imagine his shock when Joseph replied that he had, indeed, located the ring as requested of him.

   He handed the prized treasure to the king. As Solomon examined it, an expression of amazement came over his face, for he was reminded that both his greatest accomplishments and his deepest sorrows were but fleeting occurrences.  

   "Yes," said Solomon, "this is truly a ring that has the power to make a sad man happy and a happy man sad." For what was written on the rings were the words THIS, TOO, SHALL PASS.

   The king put the ring on, and wore it from that day forward, And every time he felt sad or depressed, he would look at his ring, whereupon his mood would change and good cheer would come to him.