TODAY'S CHALLENGES TO MENTAL TOUGHNESS

There is no lack of pithy quotes on Facebook and Twitter offering athletes, coaches, and the public in general life-altering advice in 25 words or less.  Recently I came across a post of the following comment made by Bobby Knight:

While Bobby Knight is eminently more qualified that I am to comment on this, I have two thoughts. The first is simply that I prefer quotes that get amplified with examples – most of the quotes you find online seem meant to sell you on some idea rather than invite you to consider WHY this makes sense.

The second – and more important – point I would make is this: At the HIGHEST levels of sport (think NBA championships, Novak Djokovic vs. Andy Murray in tennis) the side making the fewest mistakes can, indeed, emerge victorious. And sport is after all a competitive endeavor, with victory being the goal.

But as a sport educator, I firmly believe that the path to victory – starting with the athlete’s first steps – is essentially a growth process. Even Djokovic and Kobe Bryant were once young competitors who learned through their mistakes and were encouraged to grow from them.  So many athletes focus on how to AVOID mistakes rather than accept them as part of the journey on which they have embarked.

The respected New York Times columnist David Brooks recently wrote that when he asked college teachers to comment on how their students have changed over the years, they usually tell him, “Today’s students are more accomplished than past generations, but they are also more emotionally fragile.” ("Making Modern Toughness," New York Times, August 30, 2016)

“Once upon a time,” Brooks noted, “kids were raised in a tough environment. But today, helicopter parents protect their children from setbacks and hardship. They supervise every playground conflict, so kids never learn to handle disputes or deal with pain.”

While the parenting of the past may have led some to develop the tough skin of hardness, Brooks says: “Perhaps it’s time to rethink toughness or at least detach it from hardness. Being emotionally resilient is not some defensive posture. It’s not having some armor surrounding you so that nothing can hurt you.

"The people we admire for being resilient are not hard; they are ardent. They have a fervent commitment to some cause, some ideal or some relationship. That higher yearning enables them to withstand setbacks, pain and betrayal.

"Such people are, as they say in the martial arts world, strong like water. A blow might sink into them, and when it does they are profoundly affected by it. But they can absorb the blow because it’s short term while their natural shape is long term.

"There are moments when they feel swallowed up by fear. They feel and live in the pain. But they work through it and their ardent yearning is still there, and they return to an altered wholeness.

"In this way of thinking, grit, resilience and toughness are not traits that people possess intrinsically. They are not tools you can possess independently for the sake of themselves. They are means inspired by an end.”

In other words, grit, resilience and toughness are more readily accessed by people who are motivated by a compelling belief, cause or passion. This belief enables them to absorb the tough times without de-railing them from their vision or end-goal.

Brooks offers the following examples: “John R. Lewis (the African-American congressman and civil rights leader who marched with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in Selma, where he was subject to police beatings) may not have been intrinsically tough, but he was tough IN THE NAME OF CIVIL RIGHTS. Mother Teresa may not have been intrinsically steadfast, but she was steadfast IN THE NAME OF GOD. The people around us may not be remorselessly gritty, but they can be that when it comes to protecting their loved ones, WHEN IT COMES TO SOME DREAM FOR THEIR FUTURE SELF.

People are much stronger than they think they are when in pursuit of their telos, their purpose for living. As Nietzsche put it, “He who has a WHY to live for can bear almost any HOW.”

As Brooks notes, the emotional fragility which college educators are observing is not only caused by overprotective parents. It is often rooted in our difficulties in finding our ultimate sense of purpose in life, or when we haven’t yet been able to fully commit ourselves to certain causes or certain people.

If you really want people to be tough, make them idealistic for some cause, make them tender for some other person, make them committed to some (vision) that puts today’s temporary pain in the context of a larger hope. People are really tough only after they have taken a leap of faith for some truth or mission or love. Once they’ve done that they can withstand a lot.

So to now return to my original point, I believe that for athletes at ANY level short of Olympic or elite professional ranks (maybe them too?) it is not the absence of mistakes that should be sought, but rather the ability to find meaning and purpose in the mistakes we make. Any coach who can help athletes do that is a great coach in my book. Any athlete who is able to grow and benefit from his mistakes is, in my opinion, on the path to success.

PLAYING YOUR BEST AT CRUNCH TIME PART 8: TIME TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE

Time to Step Up to the Plate

A post player who had a 10 year career after first playing several years in Europe worked his way up to a starting spot at the peak of his career, and later on became a reserve player with limited minutes. In his final year in the league I asked him how he handled being relegated to a reserve role.  He replied, “My job is to be ready when I am needed.” A player that I have been working with found himself in that situation when his team’s starting center went out with an injury, and despite limited minutes to that point, found himself in the starting line-up. The night before his first game as a starter I offered him some things to help him play at this best.

David was a redshirt sophomore who had been playing limited minutes. He spent his first year at the college getting stronger and learning the team’s style of play, and didn’t play much the following year because the program still had a number of veteran bigs on the roster.

He came into his sophomore year with high expectations, but his hopes turned to frustration as he got limited playing time

His playing time was limited in November and December, He was told that the coach would trust him more if he was working more in the gym, so he started working more with one of the assistant coaches. Then conference play started and his minutes disappeared altogether. He was told that the team was going with a smaller line-up to spread the floor out more.

When he got into a game for six minutes he thought he did a good job but he was pulled out.

“I was frustrated,” David explained, “because I thought I could have helped our team more. With me out of the game we weren’t getting any rebounds. And I was confused about being taken out, because several teammates told me that thought I had been playing well.”

It was with this background that David told me he was going to be starting the next game because the team’s starting center was out with an injury.

David’s chance had come – he had to make it count.  Yes… this was crunch time.

“There are two things you HAVE to let go of,” I said to David.  “First, you have to forget about trying to get logical responses from your coach. You said his response to your play in the last game left your feeling confused.  You have to put all that out of your mind. You are expending energy on something about which you may never get; you may NEVER know the real reason for his pulling you – and the fact is that it MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT have anything to do with you.  You are spending time worrying about something that maybe can’t even be figured out. When you step onto the court, there is NO place for this if you want to play well.”

“And second, you have to forget about trying to show anything to your coach – trying to prove anything at all.  The best goal you can have out there on the court is not related to proving anything – it IS about being in the game and playing your best.”

“Tell me,” I continued, “What was your mindset when you were playing those six minutes you felt so good about?”

“I was thinking to go out and play as hard as I can,” he replied.

I continued, “You previously told me that the one thing that more than anything else drives you and motivates you this season is the idea of being someone who helps the team win games. Couple that with the mindset of going out and playing as hard as you can…. and every time you step out onto the court in the next 24 hours, during the morning shoot around – during the pre-game warm-up, and during the game – every single time your feet cross the line onto the court – the one thought that dominates your mindset should be: I AM GOING TO GO OUT AND PLAY AS HARD AS A I CAN BECAUSE I  AM HERE TO HELP MY TEAM WIN

“Do you remember the scene towards the end in the movie Field of Dreams where the baseball player steps across the line and off the field and suddenly he turns into the elderly physician?  Think of that kind of line – every time you step on to the court you will become the player whose mindset is “I AM GOING TO GO OUT AND PLAY AS HARD AS I CAN BECAUSE I AM HERE TO HELP MY TEAM WIN.”

“The other thing you need to mentally prepare for your best possible game is to consider what things during the game could get you flustered?”

David gave this some thought, and then he told me, “For one thing - if I get called for a cheap foul on defense when I am playing physical – or if I get my fingertips on a rebound but then the ball goes to the other team. When those things happen I get frustrated.”

“I understand that you get angry off when those things happen… BUT during the game itself is NOT the time to let those things bother you  – because it takes you out of the moment – and chances are you are still going to be thinking of this a few seconds later – or at the other end of the court.”

“So you missed a rebound or got a bad call.  Think of it like the Home Shopping Network on TV. They offer a product and if you don’t buy it – you missed the moment – well… there is another product coming up right away.  If you missed a shot there is another one and if you aren’t ready for it because your mind is still back in the previous mistake then you are going to miss the PRESENT opportunity because you were thinking about a PREVIOUS mistake.”

I then shared with David what Thomas, a player I have been working with who is playing professionally in Europe recently wrote about being in a game where he was having some difficulty finding his rhythm. He wrote:

“I missed a lot of easy shots in the first half – my coach was yelling at me, my head was going crazy. But at half time I took a few moments and listened to my body. It was tight.  I took some deep breaths and relaxed, trying to let everything go.  I then went out and finished two shots around the rim and hit a three in the third quarter.  It was cool the way I was able to turn things around like that.” 

Thomas player ended up with 25 points and 10 rebounds.

I continued to tell David, “If you anticipate some of those things that can go badly – and see yourself staying focused and energized (rather than frustrated) when they happen you will be better equipped to play at your best.  When they DO happen – if you have a strategy to get quickly back on track you will also be better prepared to stay competitive.”

Thomas used the idea of checking to see if there was any unnecessary tension or stress in his body, then taking a couple of deep breaths to rid himself of that tension, re-energize and regroup. By going INSIDE himself when he needed to because of distractions  – he made the changes he needed to in order to go back OUTSIDE to the game and be in his best mindset to get himself back in the zone.

By (1) keeping his focus on his mission (“play hard to help my team get the win”) –rather than get de-railed by worrying about the coach – and by (2) anticipating any things that could go badly and get him flustered, and coming up with a positive response if it happened – David was able to improve the chances of his playing at his best when he needed to.

© 2016 by Dr. Mitchell Smith.  All Rights Reserved.

LESSON FROM THE WORLD OF TV GAME SHOWS

I was watching “Wheel of Fortune recently with my dad and we couldn’t help but feel sorry for one of the contestants on that night’s show.  In one puzzle this guy landed on the Million Dollar space ( which of course is only good if you make it to the  Final Puzzle AND solve it) but still pretty exciting. Next spin he lands on bankrupt.

Next puzzle he landed on the $3500 space, called T – there were two and he’s now got  $7000 riding on this puzzle.  Spins again and lands on bankrupt.

By now you could see he was starting to feel stressed as the other players were racking up big bucks. So what happens next spin?  He lands once more a big money, and calls “N.”  Normally a good call except that on this puzzle N had already been called.  This fellow’s stress got the best of him and distracted his focus. 

You could just see him still replaying those bankrupts in his mind, stuck in previous puzzles when the money depended on being fully focused in the present moment!

I similarly noticed a post player with whom I was working who allowed a passed ball to slip out of his hands. Two possessions later the very same thing happened again. So it was hardly a surprise that at the other end of the court he missed his defensive assignment and allowed his opponent to score on him.

Mistakes and mis-steps have a way of staying with us. Devoting effort to strengthing our mental ability to quickly and effectively let go and move on - whether on the basketball court of the television studio - is of critical value to those who want to reach their highest level of performance excellence.