LISTEN TO YOUR MOTHER!

The morning news had a story of a political TV talk show which featured two political commentators, one liberal and one conservative, who happened to be brothers. 

At one point during the very heated conversation the host took a phone call from a listener … who just happened to be the men’s mother! She berated them for being so argumentative (and even said she was glad that this was the year both sons went to the in-laws for Thanksgiving … how is THAT for harsh!!! Where’s the love??) While reporting this story, one news anchor recalled a time when J.R. Rider (always known for his in-your-face style) got involved in an on-court brawl when his mother came barreling out of the stands to set him straight!! 

Although there are always times when we should heed our parents’ criticism, the fact is that the real value is in how our parents support us and encourage us. I had occasion to think of this during a recent conversation with Gary, a college senior who has been struggling in recent weeks, and reporting that the game he has loved all his life has not been so much fun lately. 

Gary is eyeing the time in the near future when he will be a professional player drawing a salary. His parents make a modest living and it means a great deal to Gary to be able to help his family out and to make a difference. But that has been weighing heavily on Gary’s mind. “I have been thinking a lot about where I would be playing and if I would make enough to take care of my family. Even though they always been very supportive I just feel the responsibility to help them out, and I am afraid that I won’t be able to do enough, which makes me insecure.” Gary was feeling both the promise and the pressure of what the future represented, but I reminded him that these worries could only get in the way on the court, which indeed was what was happening. So I told Gary that I was certain that if his parents were in the stands and they knew he was harboring these worries they would want to call a “Time Out” to tell him to get his head back in the game. 

As he readily agreed (and thought that would be kind of funny) I told him that every time he started having that worry he should picture his mother making the “T” Time Out sign. I reminded Gary that if he could keep his concern about helping his parents to the proper time and place (off court) and limit the times he gave it consideration (not every day!!) that he would find a proper way to cope with a very legitimate concern … BUT the image of his mother’s consternation would help him keep his heart in the game and restore his love of the sport. (P.S. I also reminded Gary how thrilled his parents would be at his getting his degree and preparing himself for life after basketball and a profession that would be another way to help provide for his family!)

A couple of weeks later, Gary and I spoke again, and he told me that when he thought of his parents he was mainly feeling good about making them proud of his efforts in the present rather than stressed about how he could help them in the future.

Update:  Gary did in fact go on to play in Europe, where after a challenging first year he subsequently signed with a Euroleague team where he is one of his team's leading scorers.

GROWING BEYOND YOUR COMFORT ZONE

A FEW YEARS AGO I WAS INVITED TO SPEAK TO PLAYERS at a Big Man Camp for NBA hopefuls. 

During the sessions, as I observed the ball-handling and low-post drills that were being run, I noticed a number of guys who, rather than really try to work on some of the weaker parts of their game, seemed to just be "going through the motions". In scrimmage games, these players fell back on the moves they already had, rather than take advantage of the opportunity to try to master the new moves. 

I concluded that these guys either didn't want to be bothered, or they decided they would rather "look good" (since we all look a bit awkward at first when trying out new skills) than "play good" (by developing a stronger game). Apparently, they preferred to stay in their comfort zone. We all have our comfort zone – learned behaviors that are our customary ways of handling all sorts of situations. 

Human nature being what it is, we all develop routine ways of responding to various events on the playing field or in life. These responses (like sticking to the skills we have mastered rather than giving new skills a shot) serve an important need: they help us to fend off anxiety by keeping things predictable. Staying within our comfort zone reduces our sense of stress that comes with the fear of not measuring up to the moment in trying something new, or our fear of “looking bad.” But doing so also stops us from growing and developing as players. 

Take for example, the case of Michael Chang. As one of America’s top-rated tennis players, Chang was considered a gutsy player who would run down every ball, playing to his strength as a baseline player. But at one point in mid-career, he took stock of things, and decided that in order to stay among the top-ranked players in the world, he would have to develop a net game, and he committed himself to doing so, even though it took him outside of his comfort zone. He devoted many months to this task, and understood that during this interim period – while he was looking to develop this weaker part of his game - he was likely to lose a larger number of matches than he would have liked (which cost him in terms of ranking points and tournament money). But he stuck it out, and eventually emerged a more skilled player. The resulting improvement enabled him to retain his ranking among the game’s best for several more years. 

Sometimes it's not a technical aspect of your game that needs adjusting, but a mental aspect. During his playing days as a quarterback with the Indianapolis Colts, current 49ers head coach Jim Harbaugh was going through a rough patch. He attributed his on-field difficulties to the fact that he put great pressure on himself to live up to other people’s expectations. Seeing how this hampered his game-day performance, he concluded that he needed to stop demanding of himself to have perfect performances in every game and to risk just letting himself enjoy the game more - regardless of the outcome. When he was able to trust himself enough to do this, his play improved and he led the Colts through several successful seasons. To be sure, the beliefs that many athletes hold onto become powerful impediments to their venturing outside of their comfort zone. Some athletes tie their on-field performance to their sense of self-worth, and stay within their comfort zone in order to get "ego-strokes" for what they already know how to do, rather than focus on the weaker aspects of their game in order to make them better. 

They would rather go over and over the things they already do well than give up (at least for the moment) their pride, the need to look good to teammates, coaches, etc. The question is: where will that get them….. or you? When Steve Kerr graduated from the University of Arizona, few people believed he could make it in the NBA. The sharpshooting guard who played 15 seasons in the league, winning 5 championship rings and setting an NBA record for all-time 3-point field goal percentage (45.4%) once commented, "The thing that helped me find success in the NBA wasn't so much my ability as an outside shooter, but the fact that I was constantly working on the weak parts of my game.” Along the same lines, one-time Kerr teammate Michael Jordan similarly noted that each summer, he isolated a part of his game that needed improvement, and focused on strengthening that aspect. If Jordan, of all people, was willing to make that effort, is there a single athlete in the world who can afford to take a pass? Aside from acquiring the skills you need to be competitive at the highest levels in your own sport, forming the habit of accepting new challenges and the willingness to grow beyond your comfort zone, makes you not only a stronger athlete, but – as life brings new challenges along the way – a stronger human being.

ARE YOU SETTING YOUR FOCUS ON THE RIGHT TARGET?

With the Cleveland Cavaliers down 92-90 to the San Antonio Spurs and 9 seconds left on the clock, LeBron James had the ball on a coast-to-coast push to tie the game when he committed his fifth turnover of the night. 

Afterwards he said, “I felt like I could get to the rim … to get a shot for myself or my teammates. Maybe I was thinking too much because I left the ball behind me.” Even the King is human, demonstrating one of the most common challenges that even the best athletes face: staying focused in the moment. If only by a few seconds, LeBron was getting ahead of himself, thinking of what he was going to do and not what he was doing. Basically he was splitting his focus between two things: the act of bringing the ball down court, and the goal of tying the game. Like the driver who is holding a conversation on his cell phone while driving through traffic, there is only so much focus to go around. 

This is one of countless examples of the critical role of focus in athletic success. Professional athletes with whom I have spoken who made the transition from college sports have all said pretty much the same thing – “At this (professional) level you can’t afford to lose focus for a moment. In college you could always get back into things, but in the pros you lose your focus and your opponent is going to take advantage of it.” Champions do three things: (1) figure out what aspect of the task they are performing requires their focus, (2) direct their focus there, and (3) fend off all possible distractions. The fact is that at any level of sport, and certainly at the elite levels, athletes will find themselves constantly subject to distractions and having to make mental adjustments to get back on focus. (And really, we don’t so much “lose our focus” as allow our focus to shift to a secondary concern that has somehow gotten our attention.) So the best athletes are typically the ones with good re-focusing strategies. 

 Here is an instructive example of refocusing that anyone who does much driving at night will identify with. You’re driving down the road, or stopped at a light, and the lights of the car opposite you are too bright (either because he has his highway lights on or his lights are not properly calibrated - in either case the guy has pissed me off lol!). While keeping our gaze fixed ahead of us is the natural thing to do ... and while we are instinctively drawn to looking at the bright lights, doing so will be blinding. In such instances, the experts recommend shifting your focus to the white strip (or margin) on the passenger’s side of the road. This allows you to eliminate the distraction of the bright lights and properly attend to the task of driving safely. (Directing our focus to the bright headlights is an example of an involuntary focus - something that we do before we realize we are doing it. The “corrective” act of shifting our focus to the side of the road is a voluntary or strategic focus, and in this case a strategy intended to correct the involuntary act that preceded it.) 

With nine seconds to go, the ordinarily highly-focused James got caught up in the demands and pressure of the moment, and his focus jumped from what he was doing to what he hoped to achieve. In another situation, LeBron might have gotten away with splitting his focus in this way, but not on this occasion. The bottom line is that focusing on what you are doing at the moment is usually the best mental course to take. Dr. Bob Rotella, one of the first sport psychologists to work with professional golfers, noted that players “don’t always stay in the present on every shot … but they strive to as much as possible. The good ones constantly monitor themselves (to catch themselves) when their mind starts to wander.” And don’t forget…. You can’t execute what you don’t practice! What are YOU doing to train YOUR focus muscles?

MENTAL SKILLS IN SPORT: WHAT IF YOU HAD UNLIMITED CONFIDENCE?

I have asked dozens of basketball players this very question. Before I tell you what almost all of them said, ask yourself that question and see what you come up with…. Confidence is considered one of the best predictors of sport success. A confident athlete is more likely to play his best. So as mental tools go, it is a pretty important one to have. Unfortunately, most athletes’ confidence tends to go up and down like a roller coaster. In this article, I will address that situation and tell you what you can do to overcome that and maintain a consistently high level of confidence. So first let’s consider some important sources of confidence. One thing that gives us confidence is having coaches, teachers, parents or other important people in our lives commenting on our success and telling us we did a good job. 

Another source of confidence is when we work on something and achieve success, and in particular, when we see our own efforts as having brought about that success. A third source of confidence is the knowledge that we put in the hard work to get ready for competition. Most Olympic athletes talk about the confidence they get from feeling they left no stone unturned in the months and months of preparation that preceded the Olympic Games. So let’s say you have a pretty good history in all three of these factors. Then it’s safe to say that your core self-confidence is relatively strong. So far so good …. But enter the dangerous “confidence feedback loop.” For example, you hit three baskets in a row. You’re hot. And you are feeling pretty darn confident. Each made basket tells you that you are a good player, and that becomes your feedback loop. 

But what if you miss three shots in a row (or in the case of one NBA rookie, 10 shots in a row)? With each successive missed basket you might start to doubt yourself. Because the immediate thing you experience is the missed basket – and THAT becomes your immediate feedback loop. Even NBA stars can struggle with confidence. Few guys would seem to possess the confidence of a top athlete like Vince Carter, NBA All-Star and former Rookie of the Year. One season a number of years back, Carter returned to the rotation following a five-game absence due to injury. It was clear during the first few minutes of play that his game was suffering, his shot flat and off the mark. He missed a number of baskets until he finally banked one in off the glass. I got to speak with him after the game and asked him about it. “Well, I had my mom and my agent and everyone telling me not to try to make up for five missed games right away, and just to take it easy, but I kept thinking about that and couldn’t help myself, so I was pretty hyper for the first few minutes although after a while I settled down. Thank goodness for that three-pointer I shot going in, even though it was off the glass, or else I would have really felt embarrassed.” So although a seasoned athlete like Carter can have all the benchmarks of strong confidence, he allowed the immediate feedback loop to dominate his thoughts, and his game. 

The immediate feedback loop looks like this: missed shot leads to negative thoughts or feelings, which then challenge confidence. Typically athletes try to replace a negative feedback loop with a positive feedback loop by trying (often harder) to make the next basket. If they do, there confidence returns, but only till they miss another shot. The main problem with this strategy is that is makes your confidence dependent on your performance. The mentally tough athlete does the exact opposite. He makes his performance a function of his confidence. He interrupts the feedback loop in order get off the confidence roller coaster (up and down) and instead he finds a deeper sense of confidence which rests on the foundation of the three factors mentioned at the start of this article. So here’s the deal. Don’t get seduced by the immediate feedback loop.

If you miss a shot, take a moment, re-group, and remember everything you have done to be a successful athlete. (Even the most successful athlete misses shots). Relying on making that next shot produces momentary confidence. Relying on the solid foundation that produces confidence over time helps you activate that foundation to achieve a more consistent confidence. So how did most athletes said they would play if they had unlimited confidence? Nearly every one said they would be more aggressive … meaning that even if they made a mistake, or two, or three, they wouldn’t revert to a more tentative style of play. As a top European footballer once said, “When you’re confident, you’re not afraid to make mistakes.”

POST PLAYERS: DON'T WORRY ABOUT TRAVELING

A post player was having trouble when getting the ball down low because of frequent traveling. He told me that he was working on NOT traveling and I explained to him the value of re-thinking his goal in terms of what he wanted to do rather than what he was hoping NOT to do. 

 He then showed me the move he would typically make and I asked him to do it without the ball. After doing this several times he worked on getting the pass and making the same move, this time with the ball. So he came up with the thought of making this move assertively and confidently as his intention (rather than staying with the idea of NOT traveling)

A week later he told me “I'm actually thinking about what to do and not about what NOT to do, but it's not easy ....I have to get used to it so it will become natural.” 

I asked him to tell me what would help him do this and he replied, “I think how to make the move before I get the ball.” 


 I gave him the following additional suggestions. 

• When you are alone close your eyes and picture getting the ball and making your move. Repeat this a couple of times seeing yourself do it in a confident and aggressive way.
• Also picture this as if you were sitting in the stands and watching yourself make the move.Pay attention to your footwork and rhythm as you imagine watching yourself on the court.
• Pick out one place in your body that is especially key in this move.... your feet, your core, your upper body? This time use your sense of muscle feeling rather than vision to imagine this move, so that even though you are seated when you mentally rehearse this move you feel the very same muscles being activated that would be involved in the actual event.
• In the gym practice this move alternating between doing it without the ball and with the ball. Every 4
• 1th or 5th time do the move in your mind, and then go back to doing the actual move.
• Finally, think of one or two words that most describe how you want the move to go and write them down.

One last thing I shared with him was that if he was going to plan the move in his mind ahead of time it was important to be careful to NOT get ahead of himself. Other players have shared with me that on occasion that got tripped up by picturing something in advance and sticking with that when in the particular circumstances the defense played him differently and that turned out to not be the best move for that moment. Also, if you are too caught up in what you are going to do WHEN you get the ball you may be not leaving enough focus for the PRESENT moment. Without strong focus as the ball is being passed to you you are more likely to have it slip through your fingers or be picked off. So while it is good to feel confident about what you are GOING TO DO, it is no less important to stay focused in the moment and be ready to adjust to any last second changes in the defense to make the best possible decision/move.

WHAT MOST COACHES (AND ATHLETES) DON'T UNDERSTAND ABOUT GIVING 100%

I recently ran into a friend and former college basketball player from Europe who now lives in the U.S. He was telling me about his first year in college. “As it turned out, our team wasn't that great, but we ended up winning the conference championship. In our very first practice, the coach started yelling at us and punishing us for not giving full 100% effort. Not 80%. Not 90%. He expected 100% from Day 1. And when the season started, if he saw you not giving 100% in a possession, he pulled you out. If he saw you miss a defensive assignment he pulled you out. If he saw that you didn't go after each and every rebound he pulled you out. It made us play hard and that is why we won the championship.”

This coach successfully caused his players to be mindful of the consequences of failing to give full effort. Not giving full effort is not only something one finds on college teams, but some years ago Joakim Noah took himself and his teammates to task for not giving 100% effort in NBA play … and these are highly paid professionals!!

Imagine if the surgeon who was operating on your mother or father was guilty of not giving 100% effort. Or the pilot flying the plane you were traveling on!!  

The fact is that there are few Kobe Bryant's out there who are so competitive they don't need anyone else to hold them to that standard of excellence. Truth to tell, most of us need the coach who is going to call us out on our effort.

However, I have more often seen coaches who pulled players out not because of their lack of effort BUT because of mistakes they made. And that is almost always on the offensive end.

In the course of my sport psychology work I have talked with MANY MANY players who are often seen glancing toward the bench to see if he can make out if the coach is pleased with him or not, fearful of being taken out of the game should he make a mistake.

These are frequently the same kinds of players who can light it up in practice but fall flat in games. One player I worked with could hit outside shots like crazy and dunk with authority … in practice … but in games could go 1 for 20. This is a terrific example of a guy with a good PHYSICAL skill set but not such a good MENTAL skill set.

Knowingly or not, coaches create and support this kind of mindset when they bench guys for mistakes (as opposed to benching them for effort).

When this happens, usually the the player's TRUE goal when on the court ends up being not so much to get the victory for his team but to avoid making mistakes that will get him benched. He becomes a TENTATIVE player who starts to second guess himself rather than an AGGRESSIVE COMPETITOR. His focus is too much in his head and not ON THE COURT!!! What coach would want THAT player out on the floor? And yet that is what coaches so often end up supporting.

HERE IS THE POINT:

If a player thinks he may get pulled out for messing up on the defensive end he is probably going to become more AGGRESSIVE and ramp up his GAME INTENSITY. If he thinks he is likely to get pulled out for messing up on the offensive end, he is going to become more SELF-CONSCIOUS and HESITANT. Physiologically, his muscles are probably going to tense up, so that his timing and his release will be off and/or he may hesitate for just that fraction of a second where he gives the defense the advantage as he tunes into that voice of doubt in his mind WHEN HE REALLY NEEDS TO BE FEELING CONFIDENT AND RELAXED.

When it comes to effort, there is NO excuse or reason to not be giving ones full effort! But when it comes to missed shots, a player will do better to look inside and re-adjust his mental state rather than looking to the bench to see his coach's face.

If a player isn't working on THAT skill set in practice along with his full physical effort, then he isn't TRULY giving 100%

STAYING MOTIVATED, PART 1

Yellow Light Moments

When it comes to athletic success, there is often a point where an athlete needs to push himself to his limit. In some sports, like swimming and track and field, this “comes with the territory,” but there are other sports, like soccer, basketball and tennis, where athletes are asked to push themselves in practice to develop the physical conditioning that may well make the difference between winning and losing in games. Few athletes may possess the iron will of a Michael Phelps or a Novak Djokovic to push themselves unrelentingly hour after hour -  but there are mental strategies that can help an athlete who is on board with the need to push himself but may find himself giving up too quickly when pain or fatigue set in.

                            *     *     *     *     *

WE’VE ALL BEEN THERE… You are approaching an intersection as the light turns yellow. Most of the time, we speed up to make it through the yellow light. Sometimes the light turns red as we are going through the intersection. It happens with drivers thousands of times every day.

     Sometimes, a driver slows down and comes to a stop at the intersection.  And while it is often a matter of our ability to get an immediate read on our timing relative to the light, there is something else at play… our motivation (in this case, the motivation to save time).

     We’re coming up to the intersection… the light changes to yellow… and we’re thinking “I don’t want to get stuck waiting at this intersection. What a waste of my time that is. I want to go on my way.”  (And if we are in a rush, all the more so…)

     And so we go through the light. (Hopefully it’s yellow… how many senseless deaths are cause by people running  the red light – but that’s another matter for another time.)

     But any reasonably responsible driver will also be saying something else to himself/herself at the same time … something like “I need to stop at the intersection because that is the safe thing to do under the circumstances.”   Or even “I need to stop at the intersection because there could be an officer nearby – or a traffic camera, and I don’t want to get stuck with a ticket.”

     IN OTHER WORDS… we are faced with two reasonable but opposing motivations – one which translate into “GO” and the other which translates into “STOP”

     It all happens in a fraction of a second, but in that fraction of a second ONE of those factors (“GO” or “STOP”) wins control and determines our behavior.

     This thought occurred to me recently while doing interval training on the bike. As I was pedaling at maximal effort I was feeling an energy drain – and probably would have dropped down to a lower speed.  But all of a sudden an image came to mind that gave me a surge of energy – enough energy to keep me going strong! (What was the image? See the end of the article!)

     There I was, my body sending signals of pain and fatigue to my mind, which in turn was ready to activate the “STOP” response … when a different (opposing) thought came into my mind which sparked the “GO” response instead. That thought prevailed over the other tendency and won out… with the result being that I kept going “full throttle” instead of giving in to my original temptation to slow down.

     A similar situation was reported during the 2008 Summer Olympics, when U.S. Olympian Jason Lezak captured the world’s attention by recording (unofficially) the fastest relay leg in swimming history to help the U.S. to a gold medal finish in the 4 x 100 freestyle. This was one of the races needed to help teammate Michael Phelps set his Olympic record of eight gold medals – a loss in this event would have put an early end to that quest.

   Lezak was going against French swimmer Alain Bernard, who, at the time, held the world record in the 100m freestyle, and had earlier that day bragged to his teammates that they would “smash the Americans.”  Lezak was swimming the final leg of the race, and trailed the Frenchman noticeably at the turn. With 50 meters to go, Lezak was a full body length behind. After having taken first place in this event for nine consecutive Olympics, the Americans had come up short in both 2000 and 2004. In fact, just prior to the 2004 Olympics, I asked Jason what aspects of the experience – his second time there – he was most looking forward to, and he replied, “I’m looking forward to getting the gold in the 400 freestyle relay back from the Aussies.”

     So when Lezak swam his part in what television commentator and former gold medalist Rowdy Gaines called “the greatest relay I have ever seen,” besting his own personal record by 1½ seconds, he later explained:

“When I flipped at the 50 and I saw how far ahead he still was, I really thought, ‘There's no way (I can catch up with Bernard). The guy holds the world record. This isn’t possible.’ And then I changed and I said, ‘You know what, that is ridiculous. This is the Olympics, and I'm here for the United States of America. I don't care how bad it hurts. I’m just gonna go out there.’ I’ve been part of two teams at the last two Olympics that came out behind, and I wanted … to show that we are the nation to beat in that relay. In like five seconds I was thinking all these things. I just got a supercharge and took it from there.”

     Whether it is that “supercharge” that helps an athlete surge ahead in competition, or just the motivation to maintain a high level of energy and effort in practice … it often comes down to that “Yellow Light Moment” and WHICH ONE of the conflicting messages we tell ourselves – “Take it easy” OR “Keep on going!” – takes hold.

   I often ask athletes to picture some sort of image or scenario that will remind them of the way they want to perform. In this case – me on the bicycle - I thought of filling my car up with gas to fuel me on the way … and then imagined passing someone on the highway (i.e. going strong). That image over-rode the other signal my body was sending my brain – the one of feeling tired and feeling about to quit. 

   Another time I was on the treadmill, going at full speed, when the pain/fatigue kicked in. Although I was similarly tempted to slow down, I thought to myself “What if I was to get my second wind in the next 2 minutes? What if I was to get a surge of energy if I could just keep it up for the next two minutes? I thought to myself that IF that would be true and IF I would have slowed down instead that would have been a shame… and that thought – that my second wind could be right around the corner – gave me the determination I needed to keep going for the next two minutes. THAT MENTAL STRATEGY MADE THE DIFFERENCE between stopping and keeping going. 

     Like the saying goes – “mind over matter.” Which one of two opposing thought will prevail in your mind. That is what matters!

Post Script… There is probably not a basketball coach around who hasn’t made his players run suicides in a certain time, (e.g. 28 seconds) only to have them run again because some team members didn’t make the required time.  So the team runs again, and still comes up short. Eventually they push themselves and everyone finishes in time.  The thing is that by the fourth or fifth time they are that much more exhausted, and yet they manage to run the best time of the lot. This certainly speaks volumes about the mental part of our ability for endurance!  As former Celtics great and Hall of Fame basketball legend John Havlicek put it:

“Most people think they’re overworked so they stop. They could have kept going but they didn't. They weren't beat physically, they were beat mentally.”

                                     © by 2014 by Dr. Mitch Smith.  All rights reserved.