ARE YOU THIS GUY ... THE PLAYER WHO IS AFRAID OF BEING LET GO??

Jeff is in his first year playing basketball professionally. Recently his coach told him he had to increase his rebounding numbers, and then another player was brought in and Jeff's minutes were cut in half.  Now Jeff is fearful that he may be cut from the team, and he contacted me.

Jeff's numbers (points and rebounds both) were strong in pre-season but fell once the season started. When the coach said something he started to feel pressure on him. Then when he saw his role being switched up he started feeling angry.

The anger became harder to shake off and he found himself starting to feel resentful and resistant to the coach's words... and his production fell even more.

"Now it's like if I miss a shot - or if a guy gets a rebound that I should have gotten, I get on myself, and with each successive mistake or missed opportunity I get myself in deeper and deeper. I start to feel depressed and sometimes I kind of shut down."

I told Jeff that it sounded like after his strong start it probably felt like he was having the rug pulled out from under him.  Especially being alone and halfway across the world, his reaction was understandable - but NOT helpful! 

The first thing I told Jeff was to think of himself as if in a giant wave that was tossing him here and there, but to remember that after a wave crests it subsides, and eventually this wave in his career would subside and things would calm down.

Then I asked him to tell me more about what happened in the games. Jeff told me that when he missed a shot or a rebound, one of the things he would do was to think about how to tweak his execution next time (for example, to extend his arm more on a hook shot). I told him that the more he could direct his thoughts in that way and NOT take the more negative path of beating himself up the more likely he was to stay competitive and keep his head in the game.

One of the things that would help Jeff hold onto a competitive mindset was to tranform the anger he was feeling toward himself when making mistakes to an aggressive attitude that would allow him to utilize the self-corrections he was giving himself in a way to stay energized and a fighter.  

We also explored how he could use relaxation techniques to clear his mind as if hitting a "re-set" button that would delete all the negative chatter going through his mind.  This can be a CRITICAL part of changing your game!!!

When Jeff told me about some of his previous games, one of the things that came out was that his play in those games had felt effortless.  I told him that this was the ideal situation, one which was hard to come by when he was desparate and trying to force things to happen.  I told him, if he could get all the chatter out of his head, it would be like opening the door to a room inside which his competitive self was locked up. By removing from his thoughts all the stuff he though he had to be doing, it opened up the space for all the things he was capable of doing.

In the end, the less you are trying to make things happen and the more you can let your game come to you, the more likely you will be playing at your highest level. That is why "getting your head right" is an essential early step in the process.

WHEN YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST STEP UP YOUR CONFIDENCE: Part 1

William is a volleyball player who had a very successful college career and is now beginning the next chapter as a professional player with a European club. William had read my blog entry about Simon, a basketball player also just starting his pro career.*** 
With his own season just getting underway, William contacted me. This is what he had to say:

I think I am in a similar situation as Simon. Since arriving here I've felt less and less confident with my attacking and it's something I struggle with every practice. For example, whenever I am given a set I have a sudden uncertainty in myself to put the ball away on the other side of the net. I have found myself making more errors, hitting the ball into the net or several feet out of bounds.

It's a very strange feeling that comes over me as soon as I jump and leave the ground to attack the ball. A million things rush through my head at once, and the more times throughout practice or in a match that I fail at attacking, the less confident I get, until I've dug myself in such a deep hole that I make mistake after mistake. I've read many articles on mental toughness, but it always feels useless once I'm actually in the moment right before I attack the ball.

You said that a million things rush through your head. Can you describe one or two of them?

I'll tell myself to contact the ball high, swing deep, I'm looking at where the block is, trying to find the holes in it to hit through, telling myself to just put the ball in, be aggressive and swing away, don't make a mistake.

These are all good self-instructions.  But for you it becomes a problem.

There are a lot of important things that a hitter needs to practice in order to be proficient. But all of those things seem to be a distraction at this point.

If I think back to some of my earlier days in college, I don't remember ever thinking of those things. I just played and I was successful. Now I'm just worrying about all those factors. I think I am afraid to fail and be taken out of the game.  I may tell myself I'm not worried and tell others that I'm nor worried, but maybe that is the case right now.

What things are different now that might be causing this situation?

Well now that I am playing at a higher level I am putting more pressure on myself.  And I might be trying to earn the approval of my new teammates and coaches by succeeding in my position.

Didn't you put pressure on yourself in college?

That's the thing. I definitely did. If anything I should place less pressure on myself now. In college I had my best friends, my girlfriend, lots of school buddies, and my family all watching my matches. Now that I am in Europe none of them are watching or knowing how I am doing other that what I tell them.  Maybe I just had more fun back then, and I didn't get stressed when I failed. Or maybe I didn't feel as judged by my peers at school.

Unlike college, your new teammates are not guys you know well, and this may account for some of the pressure. Maybe you feel a greater need to prove your value as a teammate to them than to your college teammates with whom you had already formed strong friendships.  

Yes, I am sure that is a big part of it.

Tell me, what was it that kept you from getting stressed when you missed shots or had mistakes in college?

I had supportive coaches who were ok with mistakes, as long as the mistakes were aggressive and they felt we acknowledged how to correct them. And some of my teammates were my best friends. I knew that no matter what mistakes I may have made, they still had my back.

The thing that comes through in your comments is the fear of making mistakes that you are now feeling so strongly.

Yes, and with that so prominent in my mind, my focus on the moment and trust in myself is quite limited. I guess I am really afraid of losing my starting position because of the mistakes I make.  I guess that is at the heart of it all.

Exactly. Earlier you said that when you felt yourself flooded with thoughts in matches you tell yourself to contact the ball high, swing deep, look where the block is, find the holes, put the ball in, be aggressive, swing away, don't make a mistake.
It is that last thing - DON'T MAKE A MISTAKE - that gets in the way of effectively using the other good instructions you give yourself, no?

Yeah. I think it overshadows everything. 

So let's keep in mind that as you mentioned, in college you didn't stress out after making mistakes because the support of your teammates and coaches made it fun. I think that is a big part of what makes it different for you now.  Except for perhaps roller coasters it is literally not possible to experience FEAR and FUN at the same time. One will always cancel the other one out.

Yeah, there is truth in that absolutely.

When it comes to this contest between FEAR and FUN, tell me how you would complete the following sentence:
"I may make a mistake (like hitting the ball into the net or out of bounds), but ___________ ."

" ... but I'm still here to have fun" ?

I see you put a question mark at the end, which prompts me to ask, when you hear yourself say "I may make a mistake but I'm still here to have fun," how much conviction to you hear or feel in your words (in a percentage from 0% to 100% conviction). The more conviction, the greater the impact of telling yourself this.

I guess about 85%. I want to have fun but I also want to succeed career-wise.

I ask this because the greater your conviction the more likely it is to help you shift your mindset away from the fear it is focusing on at the moment.

Click here for Part 2


***   "What Are You Looking At?"

WHEN YOU ABSOLUTELY MUST STEP UP YOUR CONFIDENCE: Part 2

William, the first year professional volleyball player (from Part 1 of this post) wanted to shift his mindset from one of FEAR (of making a mistake) to one of FUN, which would allow him to be more aggressive and likely more successful in his game.  He came up with the thought "I may make a mistake (like hitting the ball into the net or out of bounds) but I'm still here to have fun."

I shared with him that the greater his conviction in saying this sentence to himself the more likely it would be to help him shift his mindset.

"I do think that having fun is the first thought that comes to mind because I have always told myself it's just a game so have fun. But now volleyball has become more than a game to me, it is my job - my life. So if I can convince myself of the truth of that phrase before each play or before I serve, I will give myself less to fear and be happier regardless of the result?

Yes ... but it's not really so much IF you can convince yourself of the truth of that or any particular phrase as much as trying to figure out what phrase you hear yourself saying to complete that sentence when you basically clear your mind - rather than trying to "force" any particular ending.

Still, that is the first thought that came to mind for you, so it may not be so much you have to convince yourself as much as let yourself identify with this idea.

If you are looking to be playing volleyball professionally for some years, then if you are not having fun it will be a rather stressful journey! Do you think you can see yourself having fun in a way that will remove a good part of the pressure yet still focus on the demands of this career path?

If I am not successful then it will be a struggle.

It is natural to equate success with fun. In general when we are not good at something it is not fun for us and we lose interest. That being said, I would challenge you to re-think what success means for you at this point in time.

I guess I've indentified success in volleyball with winning. I've always had the "go-to" guy role on my high school and college teams. And I've proven effective as that person in the past. So when I'm not leading the team in points I feel as though I have let both myself and my team down.

I can certainly understand that.  Let's just widen the picture a bit. Can you think of some additional aspect of success that isn't tied to whether you win or lose.  After all, not even the best teams win ALL the time. That doesn't necessarily make them "losers" the other times (except in the technical sense of having lost that particular match).

Well, I feel I have succeeded when I have peace of mind in knowing I performed to the best that I am capable of. If I am contenct with the output of my performance on the court that day, then (and probably only then) was it a success.

So you could have a match where you gave the best you had and even if your team lost you could consider it a personal success.

In that respect yes.

And do you generally have a good feel after each match if you performed to the best or your ability?

I do.

So returning to what we were saying about "I may make a mistake but I am here to have fun," don't you think that if you focus on giving your best effort as ONE important measure of success then you can tie that with having fun?

Yes, I could definitely do that.

And perhaps you could sometimes just say to yourself "I may make a mistake but I am here to give my best effort, which will include some mistakes."

That being said, you could also add as a goal GIVING YOUR BEST EFFORT TO TRUST YOURSELF more than you are doing at the moment, because now you are second guessing yourself or otherwise driven by fear of making a mistake. ***

With this in mind, I have two specific action steps to suggest to you. The first is to track after each match you well you are doing in giving your best effort and trusting yourself, and giving yourself a score from 1-100 on each of those, and also writing 1-2 sentences describing what you did or didn't do that you based this score on. 

The second thing is to find a way in practices to work on being able to trust yourself more, at the same time that you are woking on the technical parts of your game. In other words, having a MENTAL training goal as well as the PHYSICAL goals your have for practice.

If you follow through on these ideas I believe you will start to see a difference in your situation.

Thanks!! I am positive that I can start to feel less pressure. This has been very insightful for me and I really appreciate it.

*** (See "When the Pressure in On, Which Will Triumph: Fear or Trust?" http://mitchsmithmentalcoach.blogspot.com/2015/09/when-pressure-is-on-which-will-triumph.html)

WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT???

After a successful 4-year stint in one of the strong NCAA Division 1 Basketball programs, Simon entered the next chapter of his career as a professional in a EuroLeague level team in Europe.  Simon recently contacted me after having an up-and-down start to his season. When he was playing well he of course felt comfortable. But when he missed a couple of shots he started to become quite self-critical and found himself overthinking everything out on the court. As a result his game suffered.

One of the things I stressed in my conversations with Simon to remind him that even the best athletes make mistakes or miss shots - and therefore the problem isn't whether or not you make mistakes as much as what happens when you make those mistakes ... how you feel about the mistake ... how well you get back in the game afterwards ... and how quickly.

At the heart of the matter is how you perceive the mistake - in other words how you look at what happened.

About 80 years ago a group of psychologists in Germany started what an approach to psychology they called "Gestalt," drawing on the German word for form or shape. One of the principles of their approach was that situations were best viewed in their entirety and not as a collection of their individual parts, but that each of us have a tendency to only see a "part of the whole" based on our personal needs and agenda.

A famous example of this theory was the drawing seen here.

When individuals were asked what they saw, some reported seeing an old lady while others saw an attractive young woman.

In their discussion of how it was that people looking at the same object or situation perceive different things, they explained that in any whole - some part of it will appear to us as the FOREGROUND and the rest will be the BACKGROUND.  Some part of that whole will stand out as the primary object and the rest will serve as the setting.

In the present example, some saw the features of the young lady as the foreground and the rest as the background, and for others it was the features of the old woman as the foreground. Similarly, when different people go to a game where their sons or friends are playing on the same team, each will have their own particular loved one in the foreground and the rest of the team as the background.

For Simon, his mistakes of the moment became the foreground and everything else in the game (and for that matter in his basketball career) became background. Because his mistakes or missed shots took center stage in his mind, it made it hard for him to mentally let them go and move on.

In such cases, when a person can learn to alter the way he perceives this event, it will results in a different (and more effective) way of responding.

All it took for Simon was to find some other part of the whole to direct his focus to. One such part that did the trick for Simon was the thought that he was out there competing as part of a team who had each other's back. When he shifted his attention to this he found that his mistakes were no longer front and center in his thoughts, and it allowed him to stay confident and competitive after missed shots, lost rebounds or turnovers.

Whatever part of the whole we are looking at will determine our reponse, so it's always helpful to figure out what we are looking at and precisely what it is that we are paying attention to.  As YODA reminds us:

VISUALIZATION PART 3: USE THESE THREE MENTAL REHEARSAL TECHNIQUES FOR MAXIMUM SUCCESS

A post player was having trouble when getting the ball down low because of frequent traveling once the ball was in his hands. He told me that he was working on NOT traveling and I explained to him the value of re-thinking his goal in terms of what he wanted to do rather than what he was hoping NOT to do.

He then showed me the move he would typically make and I asked him to do it without the ball. After doing this several times he worked on getting the pass and making the same move, this time with the ball. So he came up with the thought of making this move assertively and confidently as his intention (rather than staying with the idea of NOT traveling)

A week later he told me “I'm actually thinking about what to do and not about what NOT to do, but it's not easy ....I have to get used to it so it will become natural.”

I asked him to tell me what would help him do this and he replied, “I think how to make the move before I get the ball.”

I gave him the following additional suggestions:

1. When you are alone, close your eyes and picture getting the ball and making your move. Repeat this a couple of times, seeing yourself acting in a confident and aggressive way.

2. Picture yourself as if you were sitting in the stands and watching yourself make the move. Pay attention to your footwork and rhythm as you imagine watching yourself on the court.

3. Pick out one place in your body that is key in this move - your feet? your core? your upper body? This time use your sense of muscle feeling rather than vision to imagine this move, so that even though you are seated when you mentally rehearse this move you feel the very same muscles activated that you would feel if you were actually playing. 

In the gym practice this move alternating between doing it without the ball and with the ball. Every 4th or 5th time do the move in your mind, and then go back to doing the actual move. 

Finally, think of one or two words that most describe how you want the move to go and write them down.

One last thing I shared with him was that if he was going to plan the move in his mind ahead of time it was important to be careful to NOT get ahead of himself. Other players have shared with me that on occasion they got tripped up by picturing something in advance and then sticking with that when in the particular circumstances of actual play the defense played him differently and that move turned out to not be the best move for the moment. If you are too caught up in what you are GOING TO DO when you get the ball you may not be leaving enough focus for the PRESENT MOMENT that you are in right now.  Without strong focus as the ball is being passed to you, you may be more likely to have it slip through your fingers or be picked off.

So while it is good to feel confident about what you are GOING TO DO, it is no less important to stay focused IN THE MOMENT and be ready to adjust to any last second changes in the defense to make the best possible decision/move.

One way to increase your capacity to do this is to spend a good amount of time visualizing situations where the defender switches things up or your teammates are in different places on the floor.  

Adding this skill to your on-court practice can allow you to feel more prepared, and as a rule, when athletes feel more prepared they feel more confident and self-assured - a strong precursor of success.

For previous posts on using visualization click here

GETTING QUALITY RESULTS FROM PRACTICE: PART 1

Practice: The Key To Progress Is YOU

There are a number of reasons why practice is the critical element in your athletic performance.

•  This is the time when you IMPROVE YOUR TECHNICAL SKILLS, and get individual or team plays down to the point where you can execute them automatically, without having to stop and think about what you are doing.

•  This is also the time where you WORK ON WEAK AREAS, and expand your range of skills. Some athletes are content to stay in their comfort zone, and use practice as a time to get ego-strokes rather than to bring some of the weaker aspects of their game up a notch.

•  Practice can be an important period in terms of your self-confidence. As things go well in practice, you will feel more encouraged, and generally confident in your abilities to execute under pressure. The most important key to athletic success is the ability to deliver the goods at crunch time.  FOR MANY ATHLETES, THE FEELING THAT THEY HAVE DONE THEIR WORK IN PRACTICE IS A CRITICAL COMPONENT OF THEIR SELF-CONFIDENCE.

•  It is also a time to work on your MENTAL game. If you envision yourself as a player who can go strong late in the game, if you want to be a team leader, if you could do a better job of re-focusing and getting back into the game after making an error or, if your game would benefit from better anticipation -- then YOU SHOULD BE FOCUSING ON AND SOLIDIFYING YOUR MENTAL GAME AT THE SAME TIME THAT YOU ARE LOOKING TO MAKE PROGRESS ON YOUR PHYSICAL SKILLS.

What is important to remember in all of this is that significant progress will be accomplished to the degree that you take PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY for making progress. Too often, athletes, especially in team sports, show up to practice physically, but not mentally. They go through the motions and put in the hours, but they have not taken the time to articulate to themselves clearly what they plan to get out of that practice, so their progress is sporadic rather than FOCUSED and DELIBERATE. 

Here are some important steps that will help you become PERSONALLY ACCOUNTBLE for your own progress:

•  You should have a clear sense of what you are trying to get out of the practice. What is the OUTCOME you desire (for example: tighter ball control, to cut down on your turnovers, greater confidence in your court decision-making ability, or more explosive moves). If you have not figured out exactly what you want to happen, or rely on the coach to do this, you are not likely to make as much progress.

•  If your sport is a team sport, you are responsible for team goals, and whatever the coach decides you should be working on. But you must not let that prevent you from assuming responsibility for your personal goals as well. You can even meet with your coach in advance, to identify individual goals for yourself.

•  In order to make good progress, once you have goals in mind, you also need a GAME PLAN. What are the things that you can do to accomplish your goals for practice? These might include reminding yourself of your goal and giving yourself positive feedback for staying focused.  (You might consider thinking of a slogan for your goal(s), and every time your coach blows his/her whistle, you could say your slogan to yourself to remind yourself of the efforts you should be taking, or you could picture an admired sports hero complimenting you on your effort.) It is important to give a sustained effort to make real progress.

Basically, you will make the MOST PROGRESS  if you:

•  Set some clear goals and establish a timeline for each one

•  Get to work to do what you have to do to achieve them, and

•  Routinely evaluate your efforts, and revise your game plan as needed.

As you apply this strategy to improving your athletic skills, you will be incorporating a life skill that will also serve you in personal and professional concerns in years to come.

Let me conclude with a useful quote from Michael Jordan, who probably knew more about this topic than just about anyone else:

“I’ve always believed that if you put in the work, the results will come.  I don’t do things half-heartedly, because I know if I do, then I can expect half-hearted results.  That’s why I approached practices the same way I approached games.  You can’t turn it on and off like a faucet.  I couldn’t fake it during practice and then, when I need that extra push late in the game, expect it to be there.”   (Michael Jordan)

© 2015 by Dr. Mitchell Smith.  All rights reserved.  

GETTING QUALITY RESULTS FROM PRACTICE: PART 2

Repeated self-reflections over a period of 2-3 weeks can yield substantial learning about how to make the most progress during training sessions. The following form can prove helpful (or create your own)

SELF-RATING  FORM FOR PRACTICES

Date:____________________

1.  What was your MAIN goal for today’s practice (some thing you want to get better at)?

2.  Using the scale below, how would you rate your efforts to accomplish today’s main goal?

1....…....2.….......3….....…4…….....5….....…6….....…7….....…8….....…9….....…10

Really BAD.......…Inconsistent......…So-so.......…Consistently good......….Excellent

3.  What examples best indicate if you accomplished your goal?

4.  What strategies helped you accomplish what you did – for example, any ATTITUDES you kept in mind, or any THOUGHTS you kept saying to yourself, that contributed to the task?

5.  Using the scale below, how was your energy level today – (good intensity, staying focused, actively fighting off distracting thoughts or emotions,  and fighting off fatigue?

1....…....2.….......3….....…4…….....5….....…6….....…7….....…8….....…9….....…10

Really BAD.......…Inconsistent......…So-so.......…Consistently good......….Excellent

6.  When you think about the progress you made today, what do you think you learned about your efforts that will help you in the next few practices or in your next game?

7.  Based on today, what goal(s) will you set for tomorrow or future practices?

© 2015 by Dr. Mitchell Smith.