Taking Control of Your Feelings of Control
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The Miami Heat – and LeBron James in particular – have taken a lot of “heat” for their inability to step up in the final minutes of play to close out games during the 2011 NBA Finals. The other big story dominating the news these days – the texting of sexy photos – by U.S. Congressman Anthony Weiner, prompted an interesting discussion that is actually relevant to the problems James, D-Wade and company have been experiencing.
The question is being raised as to why so many politicians, from ex-President Bill Clinton, to Arnold Schwarznegger, to New York ex-governor Eliot Spitzer, to Congressman Weiner and many others, have engaged in extra-marital affairs or other behavior putting their political careers at risk (and in some cases ending them altogether).
Apart from what we call anecdotal evidence (all the examples) … there is research demonstrating that when people have power – or find themselves in situations where they feel empowered – they are more likely to take greater risks, act more boldly, etc. For example, in a study conducted at Florida State University where a male and female student were paired together, when the male was made to feel more powerful, he was more likely to flirt with the female.
In my own work with athletes, I see time after time after time, that when an athlete feels empowered (in other words, confident) he is more likely to play with greater aggressiveness. In fact, having asked some 50 basketball players how their game would be different if they had unlimited confidence, nearly every single one said they would be bolder and less tentative.
That is why so much of my sport psychology work is helping players find strategies to feel confident on a more routine basis – NO MATTER WHAT IS HAPPENING IN ANY GIVEN MOMENT OR IN THEIR MOST RECENT GAME.
So if LeBron in particular hasn’t been bringing his A game in the 4th quarter of these contests (some sportswriters have called his shooting tentative), I would raise the possibility that something is getting in the way of his feeling empowered and able to go all out.
One possibility is all the excess baggage as far as his proving himself – all the promises and predictions that were made back in August – are getting in the way of his playing his best and bringing his full fierce competitiveness to bear when it is most needed. (Think of it as the Florida State male student who has been made, somehow, to feel LESS powerful – and so less likely to start to flirt with the woman.)
I know that most professional athletes will say that after they have a few good minutes – or get a couple of good shots off – their confidence shoots back up. But that kind of thinking makes them prisoners of their situation. They let their performance dictate their confidence – when the fiercest competitors do JUST THE OPPPOSITE – they find that confidence which will dictate their performance.
A former NBA Rookie of the Year and multiple All Star once returned to action following a five-game absence due to injury. During the first few minutes of play his shot was flat and off the mark. He missed a number of shots until finally banking one off the backboard. After the game, he told me, “I had my mom and my agent and everyone telling me not to try to make up for five missed games right away, and to just ease in to things, but I kept thinking about it and couldn’t help myself, so I was pretty hyper for the first few minutes although after a while I settled down. Thank goodness for that 3-pointer going in, even though it was off the glass, or else I would have felt totally embarrassed.”
Of course, every player has to find his own rhythm, but this player seemed to be feeling beset by the demands of the moment to the point of lapse of confidence, and consequently waiting for that first shot to drop to get his confidence back.
Many players I work with tell me that when their confidence is low they would just as soon not get the ball – or not take the shot. But the GREAT ONES believe in themselves ALL THE TIME (think Michael Jordan!!!)
The DuPont Company used to have a slogan “Better Living Through Chemistry.” This applies to sports as well. When a player’s game is off – he usually says something to himself like “Damn. What is happening tonight?” That apparently produces certain changes in a player's brain that cause him to disengage or otherwise become more tentative and cautious. On the other hand, when things are going well and he is “on,” that produces other chemical responses that make him feel bold and empowered.
The TRICK when things seem to be imploding is to step up MENTALLY by taking control over our thoughts and thus to over-ride this process and reverse it by letting go of certain thoughts and getting in touch with others to produce the chemical reaction that promotes the feelings of power. As a British soccer star put it, “When you are confident, you aren’t bothered about making mistakes.” When you feel bold, you are able to step up and hopefully deliver, but at the very least to bring the full extent of your talents to bear.
If D-Wade and LeBron can do that, they will make a lot of people in Miami very happy – and probably find redemption in their own eyes as well.
© 2011 by Dr. Mitchell Smith. All Rights Reserved.