William is a volleyball player who had a very successful college career and is now beginning the next chapter as a professional player with a European club. William had read my blog entry about Simon, a basketball player also just starting his pro career.***
With his own season just getting underway, William contacted me. This is what he had to say:
I think I am in a similar situation as Simon. Since arriving here I've felt less and less confident with my attacking and it's something I struggle with every practice. For example, whenever I am given a set I have a sudden uncertainty in myself to put the ball away on the other side of the net. I have found myself making more errors, hitting the ball into the net or several feet out of bounds.
It's a very strange feeling that comes over me as soon as I jump and leave the ground to attack the ball. A million things rush through my head at once, and the more times throughout practice or in a match that I fail at attacking, the less confident I get, until I've dug myself in such a deep hole that I make mistake after mistake. I've read many articles on mental toughness, but it always feels useless once I'm actually in the moment right before I attack the ball.
You said that a million things rush through your head. Can you describe one or two of them?
I'll tell myself to contact the ball high, swing deep, I'm looking at where the block is, trying to find the holes in it to hit through, telling myself to just put the ball in, be aggressive and swing away, don't make a mistake.
These are all good self-instructions. But for you it becomes a problem.
There are a lot of important things that a hitter needs to practice in order to be proficient. But all of those things seem to be a distraction at this point.
If I think back to some of my earlier days in college, I don't remember ever thinking of those things. I just played and I was successful. Now I'm just worrying about all those factors. I think I am afraid to fail and be taken out of the game. I may tell myself I'm not worried and tell others that I'm nor worried, but maybe that is the case right now.
What things are different now that might be causing this situation?
Well now that I am playing at a higher level I am putting more pressure on myself. And I might be trying to earn the approval of my new teammates and coaches by succeeding in my position.
Didn't you put pressure on yourself in college?
That's the thing. I definitely did. If anything I should place less pressure on myself now. In college I had my best friends, my girlfriend, lots of school buddies, and my family all watching my matches. Now that I am in Europe none of them are watching or knowing how I am doing other that what I tell them. Maybe I just had more fun back then, and I didn't get stressed when I failed. Or maybe I didn't feel as judged by my peers at school.
Unlike college, your new teammates are not guys you know well, and this may account for some of the pressure. Maybe you feel a greater need to prove your value as a teammate to them than to your college teammates with whom you had already formed strong friendships.
Yes, I am sure that is a big part of it.
Tell me, what was it that kept you from getting stressed when you missed shots or had mistakes in college?
I had supportive coaches who were ok with mistakes, as long as the mistakes were aggressive and they felt we acknowledged how to correct them. And some of my teammates were my best friends. I knew that no matter what mistakes I may have made, they still had my back.
The thing that comes through in your comments is the fear of making mistakes that you are now feeling so strongly.
Yes, and with that so prominent in my mind, my focus on the moment and trust in myself is quite limited. I guess I am really afraid of losing my starting position because of the mistakes I make. I guess that is at the heart of it all.
Exactly. Earlier you said that when you felt yourself flooded with thoughts in matches you tell yourself to contact the ball high, swing deep, look where the block is, find the holes, put the ball in, be aggressive, swing away, don't make a mistake.
It is that last thing - DON'T MAKE A MISTAKE - that gets in the way of effectively using the other good instructions you give yourself, no?
Yeah. I think it overshadows everything.
So let's keep in mind that as you mentioned, in college you didn't stress out after making mistakes because the support of your teammates and coaches made it fun. I think that is a big part of what makes it different for you now. Except for perhaps roller coasters it is literally not possible to experience FEAR and FUN at the same time. One will always cancel the other one out.
Yeah, there is truth in that absolutely.
When it comes to this contest between FEAR and FUN, tell me how you would complete the following sentence:
"I may make a mistake (like hitting the ball into the net or out of bounds), but ___________ ."
" ... but I'm still here to have fun" ?
I see you put a question mark at the end, which prompts me to ask, when you hear yourself say "I may make a mistake but I'm still here to have fun," how much conviction to you hear or feel in your words (in a percentage from 0% to 100% conviction). The more conviction, the greater the impact of telling yourself this.
I guess about 85%. I want to have fun but I also want to succeed career-wise.
I ask this because the greater your conviction the more likely it is to help you shift your mindset away from the fear it is focusing on at the moment.
Click here for Part 2
*** "What Are You Looking At?"
With his own season just getting underway, William contacted me. This is what he had to say:
I think I am in a similar situation as Simon. Since arriving here I've felt less and less confident with my attacking and it's something I struggle with every practice. For example, whenever I am given a set I have a sudden uncertainty in myself to put the ball away on the other side of the net. I have found myself making more errors, hitting the ball into the net or several feet out of bounds.
It's a very strange feeling that comes over me as soon as I jump and leave the ground to attack the ball. A million things rush through my head at once, and the more times throughout practice or in a match that I fail at attacking, the less confident I get, until I've dug myself in such a deep hole that I make mistake after mistake. I've read many articles on mental toughness, but it always feels useless once I'm actually in the moment right before I attack the ball.
I'll tell myself to contact the ball high, swing deep, I'm looking at where the block is, trying to find the holes in it to hit through, telling myself to just put the ball in, be aggressive and swing away, don't make a mistake.
These are all good self-instructions. But for you it becomes a problem.
There are a lot of important things that a hitter needs to practice in order to be proficient. But all of those things seem to be a distraction at this point.
If I think back to some of my earlier days in college, I don't remember ever thinking of those things. I just played and I was successful. Now I'm just worrying about all those factors. I think I am afraid to fail and be taken out of the game. I may tell myself I'm not worried and tell others that I'm nor worried, but maybe that is the case right now.
What things are different now that might be causing this situation?
Well now that I am playing at a higher level I am putting more pressure on myself. And I might be trying to earn the approval of my new teammates and coaches by succeeding in my position.
Didn't you put pressure on yourself in college?
That's the thing. I definitely did. If anything I should place less pressure on myself now. In college I had my best friends, my girlfriend, lots of school buddies, and my family all watching my matches. Now that I am in Europe none of them are watching or knowing how I am doing other that what I tell them. Maybe I just had more fun back then, and I didn't get stressed when I failed. Or maybe I didn't feel as judged by my peers at school.Unlike college, your new teammates are not guys you know well, and this may account for some of the pressure. Maybe you feel a greater need to prove your value as a teammate to them than to your college teammates with whom you had already formed strong friendships.
Yes, I am sure that is a big part of it.
Tell me, what was it that kept you from getting stressed when you missed shots or had mistakes in college?
I had supportive coaches who were ok with mistakes, as long as the mistakes were aggressive and they felt we acknowledged how to correct them. And some of my teammates were my best friends. I knew that no matter what mistakes I may have made, they still had my back.
The thing that comes through in your comments is the fear of making mistakes that you are now feeling so strongly.
Yes, and with that so prominent in my mind, my focus on the moment and trust in myself is quite limited. I guess I am really afraid of losing my starting position because of the mistakes I make. I guess that is at the heart of it all.
Exactly. Earlier you said that when you felt yourself flooded with thoughts in matches you tell yourself to contact the ball high, swing deep, look where the block is, find the holes, put the ball in, be aggressive, swing away, don't make a mistake.
It is that last thing - DON'T MAKE A MISTAKE - that gets in the way of effectively using the other good instructions you give yourself, no?
Yeah. I think it overshadows everything.
So let's keep in mind that as you mentioned, in college you didn't stress out after making mistakes because the support of your teammates and coaches made it fun. I think that is a big part of what makes it different for you now. Except for perhaps roller coasters it is literally not possible to experience FEAR and FUN at the same time. One will always cancel the other one out.
Yeah, there is truth in that absolutely.
When it comes to this contest between FEAR and FUN, tell me how you would complete the following sentence:
"I may make a mistake (like hitting the ball into the net or out of bounds), but ___________ ."
" ... but I'm still here to have fun" ?
I see you put a question mark at the end, which prompts me to ask, when you hear yourself say "I may make a mistake but I'm still here to have fun," how much conviction to you hear or feel in your words (in a percentage from 0% to 100% conviction). The more conviction, the greater the impact of telling yourself this.
I guess about 85%. I want to have fun but I also want to succeed career-wise.
I ask this because the greater your conviction the more likely it is to help you shift your mindset away from the fear it is focusing on at the moment.
Click here for Part 2
*** "What Are You Looking At?"
No comments:
Post a Comment