TODAY'S CHALLENGES TO MENTAL TOUGHNESS

There is no lack of pithy quotes on Facebook and Twitter offering athletes, coaches, and the public in general life-altering advice in 25 words or less.  Recently I came across a post of the following comment made by Bobby Knight:

While Bobby Knight is eminently more qualified that I am to comment on this, I have two thoughts. The first is simply that I prefer quotes that get amplified with examples – most of the quotes you find online seem meant to sell you on some idea rather than invite you to consider WHY this makes sense.

The second – and more important – point I would make is this: At the HIGHEST levels of sport (think NBA championships, Novak Djokovic vs. Andy Murray in tennis) the side making the fewest mistakes can, indeed, emerge victorious. And sport is after all a competitive endeavor, with victory being the goal.

But as a sport educator, I firmly believe that the path to victory – starting with the athlete’s first steps – is essentially a growth process. Even Djokovic and Kobe Bryant were once young competitors who learned through their mistakes and were encouraged to grow from them.  So many athletes focus on how to AVOID mistakes rather than accept them as part of the journey on which they have embarked.

The respected New York Times columnist David Brooks recently wrote that when he asked college teachers to comment on how their students have changed over the years, they usually tell him, “Today’s students are more accomplished than past generations, but they are also more emotionally fragile.” ("Making Modern Toughness," New York Times, August 30, 2016)

“Once upon a time,” Brooks noted, “kids were raised in a tough environment. But today, helicopter parents protect their children from setbacks and hardship. They supervise every playground conflict, so kids never learn to handle disputes or deal with pain.”

While the parenting of the past may have led some to develop the tough skin of hardness, Brooks says: “Perhaps it’s time to rethink toughness or at least detach it from hardness. Being emotionally resilient is not some defensive posture. It’s not having some armor surrounding you so that nothing can hurt you.

"The people we admire for being resilient are not hard; they are ardent. They have a fervent commitment to some cause, some ideal or some relationship. That higher yearning enables them to withstand setbacks, pain and betrayal.

"Such people are, as they say in the martial arts world, strong like water. A blow might sink into them, and when it does they are profoundly affected by it. But they can absorb the blow because it’s short term while their natural shape is long term.

"There are moments when they feel swallowed up by fear. They feel and live in the pain. But they work through it and their ardent yearning is still there, and they return to an altered wholeness.

"In this way of thinking, grit, resilience and toughness are not traits that people possess intrinsically. They are not tools you can possess independently for the sake of themselves. They are means inspired by an end.”

In other words, grit, resilience and toughness are more readily accessed by people who are motivated by a compelling belief, cause or passion. This belief enables them to absorb the tough times without de-railing them from their vision or end-goal.

Brooks offers the following examples: “John R. Lewis (the African-American congressman and civil rights leader who marched with Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. in Selma, where he was subject to police beatings) may not have been intrinsically tough, but he was tough IN THE NAME OF CIVIL RIGHTS. Mother Teresa may not have been intrinsically steadfast, but she was steadfast IN THE NAME OF GOD. The people around us may not be remorselessly gritty, but they can be that when it comes to protecting their loved ones, WHEN IT COMES TO SOME DREAM FOR THEIR FUTURE SELF.

People are much stronger than they think they are when in pursuit of their telos, their purpose for living. As Nietzsche put it, “He who has a WHY to live for can bear almost any HOW.”

As Brooks notes, the emotional fragility which college educators are observing is not only caused by overprotective parents. It is often rooted in our difficulties in finding our ultimate sense of purpose in life, or when we haven’t yet been able to fully commit ourselves to certain causes or certain people.

If you really want people to be tough, make them idealistic for some cause, make them tender for some other person, make them committed to some (vision) that puts today’s temporary pain in the context of a larger hope. People are really tough only after they have taken a leap of faith for some truth or mission or love. Once they’ve done that they can withstand a lot.

So to now return to my original point, I believe that for athletes at ANY level short of Olympic or elite professional ranks (maybe them too?) it is not the absence of mistakes that should be sought, but rather the ability to find meaning and purpose in the mistakes we make. Any coach who can help athletes do that is a great coach in my book. Any athlete who is able to grow and benefit from his mistakes is, in my opinion, on the path to success.

PLAYING YOUR BEST AT CRUNCH TIME PART 8: TIME TO STEP UP TO THE PLATE

Time to Step Up to the Plate

A post player who had a 10 year career after first playing several years in Europe worked his way up to a starting spot at the peak of his career, and later on became a reserve player with limited minutes. In his final year in the league I asked him how he handled being relegated to a reserve role.  He replied, “My job is to be ready when I am needed.” A player that I have been working with found himself in that situation when his team’s starting center went out with an injury, and despite limited minutes to that point, found himself in the starting line-up. The night before his first game as a starter I offered him some things to help him play at this best.

David was a redshirt sophomore who had been playing limited minutes. He spent his first year at the college getting stronger and learning the team’s style of play, and didn’t play much the following year because the program still had a number of veteran bigs on the roster.

He came into his sophomore year with high expectations, but his hopes turned to frustration as he got limited playing time

His playing time was limited in November and December, He was told that the coach would trust him more if he was working more in the gym, so he started working more with one of the assistant coaches. Then conference play started and his minutes disappeared altogether. He was told that the team was going with a smaller line-up to spread the floor out more.

When he got into a game for six minutes he thought he did a good job but he was pulled out.

“I was frustrated,” David explained, “because I thought I could have helped our team more. With me out of the game we weren’t getting any rebounds. And I was confused about being taken out, because several teammates told me that thought I had been playing well.”

It was with this background that David told me he was going to be starting the next game because the team’s starting center was out with an injury.

David’s chance had come – he had to make it count.  Yes… this was crunch time.

“There are two things you HAVE to let go of,” I said to David.  “First, you have to forget about trying to get logical responses from your coach. You said his response to your play in the last game left your feeling confused.  You have to put all that out of your mind. You are expending energy on something about which you may never get; you may NEVER know the real reason for his pulling you – and the fact is that it MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT have anything to do with you.  You are spending time worrying about something that maybe can’t even be figured out. When you step onto the court, there is NO place for this if you want to play well.”

“And second, you have to forget about trying to show anything to your coach – trying to prove anything at all.  The best goal you can have out there on the court is not related to proving anything – it IS about being in the game and playing your best.”

“Tell me,” I continued, “What was your mindset when you were playing those six minutes you felt so good about?”

“I was thinking to go out and play as hard as I can,” he replied.

I continued, “You previously told me that the one thing that more than anything else drives you and motivates you this season is the idea of being someone who helps the team win games. Couple that with the mindset of going out and playing as hard as you can…. and every time you step out onto the court in the next 24 hours, during the morning shoot around – during the pre-game warm-up, and during the game – every single time your feet cross the line onto the court – the one thought that dominates your mindset should be: I AM GOING TO GO OUT AND PLAY AS HARD AS A I CAN BECAUSE I  AM HERE TO HELP MY TEAM WIN

“Do you remember the scene towards the end in the movie Field of Dreams where the baseball player steps across the line and off the field and suddenly he turns into the elderly physician?  Think of that kind of line – every time you step on to the court you will become the player whose mindset is “I AM GOING TO GO OUT AND PLAY AS HARD AS I CAN BECAUSE I AM HERE TO HELP MY TEAM WIN.”

“The other thing you need to mentally prepare for your best possible game is to consider what things during the game could get you flustered?”

David gave this some thought, and then he told me, “For one thing - if I get called for a cheap foul on defense when I am playing physical – or if I get my fingertips on a rebound but then the ball goes to the other team. When those things happen I get frustrated.”

“I understand that you get angry off when those things happen… BUT during the game itself is NOT the time to let those things bother you  – because it takes you out of the moment – and chances are you are still going to be thinking of this a few seconds later – or at the other end of the court.”

“So you missed a rebound or got a bad call.  Think of it like the Home Shopping Network on TV. They offer a product and if you don’t buy it – you missed the moment – well… there is another product coming up right away.  If you missed a shot there is another one and if you aren’t ready for it because your mind is still back in the previous mistake then you are going to miss the PRESENT opportunity because you were thinking about a PREVIOUS mistake.”

I then shared with David what Thomas, a player I have been working with who is playing professionally in Europe recently wrote about being in a game where he was having some difficulty finding his rhythm. He wrote:

“I missed a lot of easy shots in the first half – my coach was yelling at me, my head was going crazy. But at half time I took a few moments and listened to my body. It was tight.  I took some deep breaths and relaxed, trying to let everything go.  I then went out and finished two shots around the rim and hit a three in the third quarter.  It was cool the way I was able to turn things around like that.” 

Thomas player ended up with 25 points and 10 rebounds.

I continued to tell David, “If you anticipate some of those things that can go badly – and see yourself staying focused and energized (rather than frustrated) when they happen you will be better equipped to play at your best.  When they DO happen – if you have a strategy to get quickly back on track you will also be better prepared to stay competitive.”

Thomas used the idea of checking to see if there was any unnecessary tension or stress in his body, then taking a couple of deep breaths to rid himself of that tension, re-energize and regroup. By going INSIDE himself when he needed to because of distractions  – he made the changes he needed to in order to go back OUTSIDE to the game and be in his best mindset to get himself back in the zone.

By (1) keeping his focus on his mission (“play hard to help my team get the win”) –rather than get de-railed by worrying about the coach – and by (2) anticipating any things that could go badly and get him flustered, and coming up with a positive response if it happened – David was able to improve the chances of his playing at his best when he needed to.

© 2016 by Dr. Mitchell Smith.  All Rights Reserved.

LESSON FROM THE WORLD OF TV GAME SHOWS

I was watching “Wheel of Fortune recently with my dad and we couldn’t help but feel sorry for one of the contestants on that night’s show.  In one puzzle this guy landed on the Million Dollar space ( which of course is only good if you make it to the  Final Puzzle AND solve it) but still pretty exciting. Next spin he lands on bankrupt.

Next puzzle he landed on the $3500 space, called T – there were two and he’s now got  $7000 riding on this puzzle.  Spins again and lands on bankrupt.

By now you could see he was starting to feel stressed as the other players were racking up big bucks. So what happens next spin?  He lands once more a big money, and calls “N.”  Normally a good call except that on this puzzle N had already been called.  This fellow’s stress got the best of him and distracted his focus. 

You could just see him still replaying those bankrupts in his mind, stuck in previous puzzles when the money depended on being fully focused in the present moment!

I similarly noticed a post player with whom I was working who allowed a passed ball to slip out of his hands. Two possessions later the very same thing happened again. So it was hardly a surprise that at the other end of the court he missed his defensive assignment and allowed his opponent to score on him.

Mistakes and mis-steps have a way of staying with us. Devoting effort to strengthing our mental ability to quickly and effectively let go and move on - whether on the basketball court of the television studio - is of critical value to those who want to reach their highest level of performance excellence.

MENTAL TOUGHNESS PART 1

As described by sport psychologist James Loehr, the following seven qualities are basic building blocks of mental toughness. For participants in the 2016 Rick Mahorn Big Man Camp, these descriptions apply to the Mental Toughness Profile which you filled out.

Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is considered one of the best predictors of how an athlete is going to play in competition.  Self-confidence can be defined as belief in your abilities to successfully perform to the level of the challenge that faces you. One of the biggest struggles that most athletes have is the so-called loss of confidence that results from mistakes, errors or perceived failures.  Mentally tough athletes have developed strategies to maintain strong feelings of self-confidence even when they have made mistakes or are losing.

Negative Energy

Negative energy (being brought down) can result as a player feels such emotions as fear, anger, frustration or envy of others. Athletes who are successful at managing negative energy are better able to accept difficult situations as challenges rather than threats to their success or egos. Athletes who attempt to play with such feelings rather than managing them will usually show inconsistent play, excessive muscle tension and poor concentration.

Attention Control

The ability to maintain consistent focus of the task at hand during competition is critical to athletic success.  It means tuning in to what is important and central to the moment and tuning out all other distractions.  An important mental skill is learning to catch yourself when you lose focus and become distracted and also having strategies to quickly re-focus. This also includes the ability to focus on small details of execution as well as the large picture.

Visualization and Imagery Control

Successful athletes have the ability to see in their mind what they want their body to do and successfully execute those mores or skills. They typically use mental rehearsal techniques to visualize the actual skills which also helps strengthen the connection between our thoughts, the pathways of our nervous system and ending in the muscles where performance takes place.

Motivation

Motivated athletes set short term and long terms goals for themselves which place demands on themselves but are not so high as to be unreachable, and have the self-discipline to work in an uninterrupted way to reach those goals. Motivated athletes persevere, even though some measure of discomfort and self-sacrifice is involved. Motivated players set high standards for themselves and expect excellence of themselves to reach their highest level, no matter what the extent of their talent.

Positive Energy

Mentally tough athletes draw energy from their passion for the game, and often play with great intensity while at the same time feeling rather calm inside (untroubled) and even feel as if their game is effortless.

Attitude control

Mentally tough athletes are quickly able to turn negative thoughts into positive ones.  Most importantly, they NEVER offer excuses or look to blame others or circumstances when they come up short. They pump themselves up and ALWAYS give 100% effort.

HOLDING COURT WITH ... NUGGETS ROOKIE NIKOLA JOKIC

Like second-year Denver Nuggets teammate Jusuf Nurkic and Toronto veteran Jonas Valanciunas before him, and fellow rookie Kristaps Porzingis of the New York Knicks, Serbian Nikola Jokic is one of a select few young players who has found success in the sometimes tricky transition from European basketball to the toughest league of them all.

With four games left in the regular season, Jokic was among the top 10 rookies in numerous categories, hitting the number four spot in rebounds per game (6.8), and snagged 10 or more rebounds in 20 games.  He registered double digit scoring on 34 occasions (getting a double-double 15 times), scored 27 points against Toronto in February, had nine assists against Charlotte in January, and five steals against Indiana that same month.

During the final week of the NBA regular season, and the Nuggets out of play-off contention, this writer had the opportunity to talk with Jokic.

You’ve really had an amazing rookie season.

I don’t know if it is amazing. I just wanted to play hard every game I don’t know when I’m going to be good – when I am going to be bad. At the end of the game I can just tell myself I gave 100% and no one can say I didn’t give my best effort. That’s my goal for every game – just to go out and play hard and have fun.

Are you surprised at your success as a rookie?

I don’t think about that because if you think about that you don’t have a chance in this league.  You just need to go out and compete with all those guys and play hard. I think just be yourself -  do whatever you can do to help your teammates - I think that’s the way you need to play.

So what HAS been your focus?

When I came into the league I didn’t know if would play at all. Then coach gave me the chance to play a bit and I played some really good games and now I’m a starter.  So I am happy just to be here with the Nuggets. We’ll see what happens in the future.

What has been the biggest surprise for you in playing in the NBA?

Everything! First … well I didn’t expect to play at all.  And then you are playing with or against the best players in the world and have teammates in your locker room who are the best.

So do you ever feel like you need to pinch yourself to know that this is all real?

All the time!!  This is a dream for every player in the world to be in the NBA. At first I was just thinking “How am I going to do this?” Even the first game I thought “How am I going to compete with these players?”  But this has been my goal.

How have you adjusted to the more difficult schedule of the NBA compared to Europe?

There is a lot more travel, but travel is actually the good part.  Here you travel by private jet – In Serbia you travel by bus!! However it’s tougher because there is a game every second night and I have had to adjust to that but I think I am doing okay.

Is it harder physically or mentally?

I would say both. You know you have to play and you are physically tired and mentally tired. So that night you try to get a good night’s sleep and then play hard the next day.

What is the best advice you have gotten to help cope with this?

Take care of your conditioning. Be in the weight room every day. Eat well.

What do you hear from friends and family back home?

In Serbia my games are on at 3:00 AM.  I get all kinds of messages and support and see that people are watching me.  And now with three Serbian players in the NBA people in Serbia are starting to watch NBA games again.

You keep in touch with Boban (Marjanovic of the San Antonio Spurs) and Nemanja (Bjelica of the Minnesota Timberwolves) often? Even though – like you – they are technically rookies this year they are both older veteran players and of course Bjelica was EuroLeague MVP last year.

Yeah. They both were really good back in Europe.  Bjelica is really skilled and I think he is going to learn a lot here. The game is different from what we are used to in Europe, but I think he is going to show people what he can do.

Who are the players in the league you have most admired?

(Dirk) Nowitzki, (Tim) Duncan, Boris Diaw. Those are guys that have the respect of everyone in the NBA.

What is the best advice you got from the Nuggets coaches?

Don’t be a rookie.

What did he mean by that?

I don’t need to respect anybody.  We are here all the same – all basketball players.  That advice really helped me.

And what is the best advice you have gotten from teammates?

Keep your head up … well mostly basketball stuff … play strong, play hard, play good defense, look for opportunities to help your teammates.

ARE YOU SERIOUS? ... CONTINUING THE CONVERSATION

David, who is from Europe, is a senior power forward on his college basketball team. In his freshman and sophomore years he was playing major minutes, but in his third year the school brought in a new coach, who hasn't been playing David as much, which has been very frustrating. In addition, when he does get in, David doesn't get many touches of the ball on offense.

"I feel like I need to keep proving myself to my coach," David told me, "but even when I have great games it doesn't seem to make much difference as far as playing time."

Like most Europeans playing in the States, David always assumed that he would return to Europe and play professionally. Coming up, he had been a member of his country's junior national teams. But his lack of playing time and reduced role on the team now has him doubting his future possibilities - and even his desire to play.

"I just keep thinking that I should be playing better ... playing more. I just feel like the fans expect so much more from me. I expect more from myself. I should be playing like a future professional player.  When I have a good game I get excited, but then I have a poor game and then I feel really down... and my emotional mindset keeps going up and down."

While David's situaion is indeed frustrating, it is important for him to keep the focus on the things over which HE has control. The number of minutes he gets or the role he is asked to play - those are things that his coach decides. Maybe these are based on good reasons ... and maybe not. The fact that David felt he has not been able to prove his value to the coach suggests that latter might be the case ... but there is not much value to David's pre-occupation with that. So I steered the conversation toward some of the things that were in HIS control.

For one, I asked him if he was having fun. (Just this week Super Bowl bound Carolina quarterback Cam Newton said that when his career is over he wants to be able to say he had fun.) 

"On a scale of 1 - 10, what number best describes how much fun you were having in your last game?"

"3" he said, adding, "when I score, then it's fun.

Reminding David that basketball isn't ONLY about scoring, I said, "You can't always control if you are going to score. For example, let's say you play really strong defense, so that you keep your guy from scoring or wear him down trying to score off you. EFFORT and INTENSITY - those are among the things that you can control. And even if no one notices, YOU would know. Is that something that after the game you would feel satisfied about?"

"Yeah, I guess so," David said, adding "When I dunk, then it's fun."

"David, you are putting the cart before the horse. When you are having fun, then you are going to play with the kind of excitement that leads to dunking when given the opportunity. On the other hand, when you are consumed with feelings of disappointment you won't have that same kind of excitement. Instead of relying on having a dunk - which may or may not happen - to create feelings of fun, you might think about what it would take for you to enjoy being out there and THOSE feelings are more likely to lead to making that dunk"

"You know what," David replied, suddenly picking up. "I think if I play like Dennis Rodman - just go out there and don't really care about anything - no expectations ... "  As he spoke, his eyes lit up and there was a huge grin on his face.

"You see," I said, "THAT is how you go about having fun. If you go into your next game with THAT as your goal - to play like Dennis Rodman - if you do that, I believe you will find your whole mindset will change."

"So that is what I should do?"

"Think of it this way ... rather than that is what you SHOULD do, that is what you CAN do."

"OK. I see. That is a different way of looking at it. I have been putting so much pressure on myself in terms of what I SHOULD be doing - it really makes more sense to tell myself what I CAN be doing!"

I think that retired tennis champion Andre Agassi had his finger on the matter ... if you don't remember what I wrote previously go back to my earlier post  on the topic.

P.S. (Update) Congratulations to David, who had 14 points and 9 rebounds in his final game as a senior!!

"MITCH, I'M LOSING MY FOCUS AND I DON'T KNOW WHY. HELP!!"

Sometimes an athlete is experiencing a problem that can be solved in a relatively short time – even on occasion in a single conversation. It is also worth noting in the following case, that it is not always necessary to know WHY the problem is happening to be able to find a fix.

Here is the case of Dan, a 19 year old post player who is currently in a post-grad program in the U.S., with the goal of being recruited to a good Division 1 school. He contacted me online and wrote;

Mitch, I'm losing my focus I don’t know why.  Can you recommend something for concentration, like some drills.

Tell me what is happening – what is the problem?

I’m not focused in practices, losing the ball, can't focus on drills and stuff like that. I’m feeling lost on the court, I get tired quickly and have trouble going hard like I used to. Today there were some college coaches watching our practice and I feel like I blew my opportunity.

Any thought about what might be happening? Is there anything that has changed lately?

I don't know. I can't think of anything that has changed, yet I feel tired,

Have you had that feeling before in the past?

No, first time

And you are sleeping well at night?

I have been sleeping fine.

The next thing is to be sure you are eating well (fruits and vegetables, enough protein, etc.)

The third thing is about stress. For example it is probably stressful to think that you didn't make a good impression on the coaches today.

Well the stress about coaches is always there. Actually I am usually playing better when coaches come. Last week I was terrible in practice and especially today when they were there. And my coach is always saying now, “What’s wrong with you, Dan?”

And you don't have any thought as to why this is happening?

Not at all

I see. Can you describe for me how you were playing today?

I had trouble maintaining focus. Usually I can post up anybody but today I couldn't.   And when I went to make a hook shot or layup the ball would slip from my hand.  Or when I run I get tired rather quickly. And my defense was terrible… I just stand and watch the ball instead of going after the rebound.

It is as if something is taking your focus away from the things you need to be doing out on the court – the things that usually you do without such difficulty.

Yes, exactly.

And what do you notice when you are really focused?  Can you describe how you are playing (or practicing) when things are going the best?

I’m thinking about the ball, getting the rebound, make a good move, setting a good screen and stuff like that.

I see. So now I want you to close your eyes and picture such a moment when you were really focused and thinking those things. And let me know when you have done this.

It’s hard because I think about the bad things all the time, and when I close my eyes that is what I see.

Like what?

Like the bad plays I have been making lately.

And when you picture some such bad play what happens?

I get nervous.

So now try this ... imagine that this happens as you just said - you picture some bad play and it gets you feeling nervous... THEN at that moment take 3 slow deep breaths - very slow and deep.

Alright.

What did you notice as you did this?

I feel calmer and overall better.

So here is what I suggest… when you start to lose focus (and like I said some other worries draw your thoughts away from what his happening on the court) one thing that will be helpful is to INTERRUPT that very thing (this loss of focus when you start to feel bad, get nervous, etc.).  And one of the most simple ways to do this is be taking some slow deep breaths just as you did now.

So when you start to lose focus one thing that can help is to INTERRUPT the loss of focus (when you start to feel bad, get nervous, etc...) One easy way to do that is to take some slow deep

Wow, I see what you mean. I am impressed. So when I lose my focus in practice or at games I should do this.

Try this... For the next week - every time in practice when you are standing around between drills take 3 slow deep breaths. And each time as you exhale feel that you are releasing (letting go of) the negative things

It can just take 15-20 seconds each time... but if you do that 8-10 times each practice you will be teaching your body how to INTERRUPT the kinds of things that you have been experiencing lately and replacing it with the kind of focus and energy you were used to having.

________________________

One week later Dan reported feeling back in control and rarely experiencing the problems he had come to be about.

In most cases the proposed strategy is kind of like a first-aid thing. Other follow up may be helpful, including steps to develop tools to manage future events that might cause similar stress. But this strategy proved useful in helping Dan get back to feelings of control in a QUICK and UNCOMPLICATED manner.