I Should … I Must … I Gotta
What do you keep score of when you’re keeping score?
David, a basketball player I was working with, was frustrated that he was unable to play in competition the way he knew he could. As his team’s starting center, he was getting plenty of playing time, but he was going through a stretch where he was playing well below his potential. In particular, whenever he would miss a shot, he would stress about it – typically saying to himself something like “I SHOULD have had that shot.” This would lead to the next thought: “I MUST make the next shot.” This was especially the case when it came to missed dunks and the thought that he had missed the one shot that was a sure thing – the one with the most dramatic flair attached to it – and missed it in front of a LOT of people!!
“I’m 7'1"!” he thought to himself. “I’m SUPPOSED to make that shot. “How embarrassing! What will people
think??!!”
When he
DID make a shot, he was mostly felt RELIEF for not having missed. The idea of
missing a shot weighed more heavily on him than the satisfaction of a shot he
made.
When we
feel we MUST do something (and we consider failure as something terrible) we
create our own pressure in that situation. Despite the fact that David had a
great deal of ability, he had created a situation in his own mind where
anything short of perfect meant he was a failure.
So I said to him… Try finishing the following
sentence:
“I MUST ________________”
(like… “I MUST dunk the ball to show everyone I
am a great player)
Now… take notice of how you FEEL when you say
this to sentence to yourself. You will probably notice that in some parts of
your body your muscled start to tighten up, like in your arms or your shoulders
or your chest). The stress you create
for yourself MENTALLY gets converted to PHYSICAL stress – and that gets in the
way of your performance.
Now try
saying that same sentence to yourself, but change the word SHOULD for the word
“CAN”….
“I CAN ________________” …
And once again, notice how your body feels when
you say THIS sentence. For most athletes, changing “I MUST…” to “I CAN…” is
likely to produce feelings of greater muscular relaxation and positive energy.
What do YOU notice?
David
felt that a contributing factor in his situation was that he was very
competitive, and if he didn’t have a good game he felt like he had failed to
play to his potential. So I issued Jeremy the following challenge:
I asked him to think about which player on his team seemed to have the most fun
in practice and games. I challenged him
to compete with that player in the task of having fun, and after a week to
report back to me as to how he was doing. At least in part, the focus was
removed from finishing shots to having fun.
THE RESULTS: JEREMY STARTED TO MAKE MORE OF HIS SHOTS.
*****
Another
basketball player, Carl, was a reserve post player who didn’t get much playing
time. This was, of course, very frustrating, and as often happens in such
cases, started to have an impact on Carl’s level of motivation. It was hard for
Carl to put forth his best effort in practice when it seemed like nothing he
did made any difference.
It was
as if Carl was saying to himself, “I SHOULD be playing more; I MUST get into
games.” Not actually getting to play, Carl was become more and more frustrated,
and it showed.
To
Carl I issued the following challenge: to think about which player on his team
hustled the most in practice, and to set for himself the goal of reaching at
least 90% of the hustle level shown by that teammate – and to rate himself on
this at the end of every practice.
While
there was no change in Carl’s minutes, and this continued to frustrate him –
his motivation level improved, and he brought more intensity to practice. This
happened because Carl shifted his focus from something he couldn’t control but
tied his hopes to (“I MUST get playing time”) to something over which he had
complete control (giving total commitment in practice) and which – if he
thought about it enough – DID matter (“I am giving 100% and can feel proud of
that – I’m not a slacker”). And even though Carl’s minutes didn’t improve much
(there are a number of reasons why this might have been the case – not all of
them necessarily having to do with Carl directly), his attitude about his
situation did improve. THE RESULT: CARL STARTED ENJOYING PRACTICE AGAIN.
David
had the talent to be a big-time player, but his stress was getting in the way
of playing his best. Carl was losing his motivation because of his frustrations
with not getting playing time. In both
cases, a shift in focus and mindset – coupled with a challenge which asked them
to keep score on some aspect of their play which was different from what
they usually focused on – was helpful in altering their situation for the
better.
IN BOTH CASES, the athletes were able to
step up their game when they learned to stop worrying so much about things that
were outside of their control by shifting their focus to other matters over
which they COULD exercise control. Once they did, they addressed themselves to
mastering THOSE areas, which left them feeling MORE EMPOWERED – and ultimately
MORE CONFIDENT in their ability to play at their highest level of proficiency –
and to have a lot more
No comments:
Post a Comment