Thursday, March 1, 2018

A COACH REFLECTS ON MOTIVATION, FRUSTRATION AND RESILIENCE

Manolo Povea is a veteran coach who has led teams in Spain, Portugal, South America and Asia. He recently spoke with a class of 11th and 12th grade students in his home town of Malaga, Spain, addressing topics including motivation, learning and emotions. He was good enough to share his comments with us.




EXTERNAL MOTIVATION

I consider external motivation a weak form of motivation, because it relies on others outside of ourselves, making it weak and temporary rather than enduring. Consider, for example, how it applies to free throw shooting. No bonus offered to a poor FT shooter is likely to make a difference in causing him to improve. Money (external) won't do it - whereas his personal decision (internal) may well move him to want to improve.

To me, the so-called motivational speeches that coaches give in the locker room before the game is a common example of motivation. And I suppose this is useful because it helps the team to ready for the game, like some team ritual or listening to music. I call this not motivation but energizing.  

The example I will share is my first Final as a professional coach in Portugal. I call this story "Willie's Cartoon."

The Portuguese League Cup consists of 8 teams playing a 3-game series in 3 days, with a loss taking you out of competition. Our team reached its first ever final in its history, and was to face the well known Portuguese team Benifica (famous in soccer as well as basketball). We had a thin American power forward, Mike, and the day before the game, during the film session, our other American, Willie, drew a cartoon in which Mike was face to face with a much bigger and tougher looking African player telling Mike "I will kill you tonight!" After the two of them had a good laugh I asked Willie in private if I could keep the cartoon, but did not say why. 

Later that day we won our semi-final game and advanced to the final. We were in the locker room and could hear the opposing players shouting as loud as they could, in a typical motivational performance, with the clear intention of intimidating us, the newcomers. I had long pictured this final. I knew that my player would be motivated to win, but also nervous and excited - perhaps too much so, and I was sure that more tension would not help. 

So when I finished talking to the players and everybody got up to head out to the court, I pretended to find something in my pocket by surprise.  I was in the middle of the group and all of them were looking at what was in my hands, so I showed them Willie's cartoon, where I had earlier crossed out the player's name and wrote in its place the name of one of Benefica's strongest players.

The guys all started to laugh, looking at me as if I were crazy, and they all left the locker room - at the same time as the Benifica players - shouting and with a certain aggressiveness. The situation was funny; my players were laughing in front of those "warriors" as if to say "We don't give a shit what you do - we are more confident than that!" 

I guess the Benifica players did not know what to think, but probably the fear changed sides a bit, and my guys played the game with a certain calm spirit. Still, we had to fight and play solid basketball, but we did not play nervous and we ended up winning the Final.

I use this as an example of the weakness of "motivational speeches" and how easy their effect can be overturned. Whatever is inside you - fear or courage - the INTERNAL motivation, is more powerful than any external agent. 

INTERNAL MOTIVATION

This is the motivation that is most of interest to me. This is the one that provokes real change - that takes a player from making excuses or saying "Yes, sir!"  Not because of any kind of "army" discipline, but because the player has found an internally-motivated reason to work harder, to listen, to let go of his ego and be humble, and to get better every day, every practice, no matter what happens. 

This is a change that NOBODY can block because it belongs to YOU. This is what the poet William Ernest Henley had in mind. as did Nelson Mandela who quoted Henley's Invictus (unconquered): "I am the master of my fate; I am the captain of my soul." 

This is precisely the kind of motivation common to athletes in individual sports. They are alone to face the challenges, and that is pretty tough. Whereas in the case of team sports, an athlete is never alone, not in the game and not in practice, not in victory and not in defeat. 

So as a coach, I must try to inspire my players, to find within each of them that internal motivation. This requires that I pay attention to each player as an individual, to know them deeply as a person, and to invest time in that relationship. Otherwise a coach cannot inspire, influence, or even help a player.

FRUSTRATION

To me, the main question here is: Does failure justify frustration? Because, when a player has a bad game, or isn't playing well for a period of time, feeling frustrated is the easy way.  I sometimes wonder if the younger generation try as hard as they might. So the questions after a loss or failure must be: 

  • How much effort did I put into work on that shot or that move or whatever? 
  • How much effort did I put into this or that subject?
  • Did I pay sufficient attention?
  • How many repetitions did I do in my workout?
If the answer to these questions is "not as much as I could have," then there is no clear reason to be frustrated.

Listening - Humility - Selfishness

A player who often shows frustration (in the form of anger, for example) after making a mistake or missing a shot is often taken by others for a competitive guy, because they think that his anger comes from his desire to win. However, I'd consider him a selfish player, because he puts his "ME" first ahead of the "US," even thinking he is being positive. 

Humility is necessary to llisten, and listening is necessary to improve. Selfishness doesn't let you do either of these two things. We often think of selfishness as wanting to take more shots or have more playing time. But to me selfishness is just putting your ego first. This attitude brings the player to making excuses or pinning the blame on someone else, instead of reflecting on his own actions. Such self-criticism requires humility.

Know the "HOW" to Master the "WHAT"

Finally, it's necessary to know HOW to do something you want before you can master WHAT it is you want. Once again, to know the HOW, you need to listen, to be humble, and of course selfishness can't be part of this equation.




Speaking to the class, I finished with something Bruce Lee said. I told the kids this sentence means a lot. Very often a person, let's say a student, thinks, "I need to finish high school with a certain grade point average to attend college so that I can then go on to medical school to become a doctor. But that's too much for me. I'm not that smart. So I will aim for a lower grade, which is closer to my potential, and then I'll see what the future brings."

He or she thinks they are avoiding frustration by being realistic. However, if you have a dream, the call to be let's say a doctor, and you work hard to achieve that - really, really hard, but in the end your grades aren't good enough to get into Med School, then you can look at it in one of two ways: you can get frustrated because you didn't get in, or you can be proud that you gave it your very best effort, perhaps got a higher GPA than you thought you might, and still opened the door to some other options. Maintaining high goals makes you try harder. That is being a WINNER.

RESILIENCE

I often ask myself as a coach what is the way to manage defeat? Long ago I came to realize that players mimic whatever it is their coach demonstrates. When I began my career, I took over a team mid-season that was in solid last place in the league, with numerous losses. We also lost my first game at the helm, so I spent the next day (Sunday) very upset and thinking about what to say to the team on Monday's practice ... I needed a great motivational speech, I thought ... Should I push them, talking about the mistakes made? Or perhaps a video session to analyze the game? So I prepared several things around each of these options. 

Monday morning I woke up full of energy, raring to go, ready to explain and to show every single mistake. When we met up mid-court to go over the practice plan, I saw their faces and quickly realized that they needed solutions, not analysis.  And solutions always come from the work, not the words.

So that's what I did. Without saying a word - and putting aside all my preparations - I just explained the first drill.

I could see the relief on their faces. As if they were acknowledging "Coach's resilience to get past the defeat resides inour capacity to keep working, to work hard, and to maintain focus." 

That's the way to get better, and that's the way players like to solve problems. That's also the way a team becomes tougher. The toughness ... the strength of a team depends on the resilience of its leaders, and the coach is the primary (though not only) leader.

Paradox of Self-Confidence: Firmness vs. Flexibility

As a coach, but also in general, a person needs to have confidence in himself. Sometimes, espcially when the team is in trouble or facing defeat, everybody looks to the coach, either to solve the problem or to blame. The coach needs to maintain a balance between firm adherance to his plan and some flexibility to modify as needed. That balance between firmness and flexiblity makes the difference in any situation. 

When it comes to the coach's mental state regarding solving problems, I like what author George F. Tiltonood had to say:


"Success is never final, and failure never fatal. 
It's courage that counts."






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